Page 134 of Frozen Flames

We talk a bit more about his upcoming therapy sessions, and while I want to remind him that this isn’t goodbye, I don’t.

Because I don’t know the future.

Deep down, I know I’ve made my decision.

I only wish I could’ve made it sooner, before all of us, including Gemma, got hurt.

Harvey

On Monday, I’m desperate to reach out to Claire and beg her to come back to work.

I know I’ll see her again soon, since she has to come back for the PT equipment, but a part of me can’t handle that goodbye.

I don’t want to lose her.

Yet I know that I’m selfish for keeping her around.

I have so much anger and frustration over things that have nothing to do with her, things that shouldn’t be her burden.

So as much as it kills me, I stay away from my phone.

I draw.

I game.

I spend time with my mom and Henrik between classes.

I even go to therapy, which is the last thing I want to do, to be honest.

“So Claire is your main reason for being here today?” the psychologist, Dr. Lee, asks me as I sit in front of him on the couch, my wheelchair next to me.

I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. “A big part of it, yeah. Mostly, I’m tired of hurting the people I love.”

“I see.” He nods. “Is it safe to assume that you’ve opened up to the idea of therapy since your breakup with Gemma?”

I snort, seeing where he’s going with this. The man is in his late fifties and looks nothing like a psychologist—more like a gym teacher.

“I don’t know… I don’t think I would’ve done this for her. I’m not even sure if this is fully about Claire, or if wanting to end it all changed something in me.”

“And what was that?”

I think about my reply before telling him, “That I’m sick of sabotaging myself. I can’t be in a loving, happy relationship until I stopparticipatingin my own suffering.”

“Harvey, we’re going to talk about the accident. First, as I told you, I specialize in therapy for injured and paralyzed individuals, and I want you to know that you’re most definitely not alone in your suffering or in your feelings. I know that each of you feel the pain individually, but perhaps you can find some solace in this knowledge.”

Blah, blah, blah.

He goes on and on before he continues to ask me questions, and I answer him, sometimes rather frankly.

I’m surprised when the time goes by quicker than I thought. I literally sat here and talked back and forth with a random stranger for an hour, and it flew by.

My mom picks me up, and she makes us lunch once we’re back at my place. Henrik joins us.

“I got a notice today that Claire quit,” she says, pursing her lips.

I swallow, avoiding eye contact with her. “Yeah, well, it happens.”

“It’s a shame. She was wonderful!”

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