Page 130 of Frozen Flames

“Thanks for being here.”

She squeezes my hand and plants a kiss on top of it. “Of course, I’m always here for you. But, Harv, there’ll come a day when you won’t need me anymore. You’ll be free of your past and ofus, and you’ll look back with a smile on your face.”

I don’t think I’ll ever look back on some of the stuff she put me through andsmile, but I get what she’s trying to say.

I pull my hand away before there’s a knock on the door, and Claire peeks her head in just as Gemma hugs me.

“Always remember how loved you are,” Gemma says, yet I’m too focused on Claire and the expression on her face to truly consider Gemma’s words.

Once Gemma leaves, I ask Claire if she’s okay, and she nods. I know she’s doing her best. I know that it must not be easy to see Gemma with me, hugging me, especially when she’s the reason that Claire and I ended in the first place.

“I met your dad,” Claire tells me. “Ian’s very nice. I’m assuming that he doesn’t know about us?”

“Hey…come here,” I say, needing to hug her. “They just found out Gemma left and moved out. Then you quit before I could tell them about you. I’m also sure they’re not idiots, Claire. Besides, Henrik has a big mouth.”

Eventually, my mom and I are in my room alone. My mom’s crying, the tears not stopping as she pulls back from my arms.

“I’m okay, Mom. It was nothing.”

“People don’t just wake up and think about ending their life, Harvey. That wasnotnothing. You’re my baby boy. I can’t evenbeginto imagine a world without you in it.”

“It was a momentary lapse in judgment. It’s been a rough few months, that’s all.”

“Some people go to therapy, and it helps. You should try it,” she says tenderly.

I nod, knowing I’ve caused her enough grief for one day. “Sure.”

“I love you so much,” she tells me, holding my hand as she looks up at the ceiling. “I know that the accident was hard on you, and I…well, I can’t understand fully, Harvey. That’s why group therapy might help enlighten you.”

I want to tell her that being in rehab post-accident was enlightening enough. I knew we were all going through the same thing, with various levels of injury and progress rates. And yet I felt terrible.

Maybe it’s my character. Perhaps someone like Claire could face an obstacle such as this and deal with it much differently.

That wasn’t me.

It still isn’t me.

But I’m trying.

For Claire and, if I’m being honest, for myself.

“Thanks, Mom. I love you too.”

“I simply want you to be okay. I know Gemma’s leaving must’ve been hard.”

“It was,” I tell her truthfully. “But it was for the best. I’ll be fine. I have Claire… PT’s been helping me, Mom.”

Her eyes sparkle at the mention of Claire’s name, and she has a smile on her face. “I just met her. She’s very sweet.”

That she is.

“She told me a bit about the training program…” she goes on. I look away. I’ll tell my mom about Claire eventually, just not today. “Remember that your family’s always here for you. No matter what.” She leans down and kisses my cheek, and I nod, feeling a catch in my throat.

I never meant to worry them.

I knew that it would, but I got to the point where my pain outweighed my ability to see anything but my own suffering.

My parents stayed late into the evening.

---