Page 116 of Frozen Flames

Jesus, what did I text her? Is this because of the burden text?

She always did care for me and tend to me. That was part of the problem though—she cradled me and treated me like broken glass.

Claire treats me like I have wings and can soar and fly andlive.

With her, I just am. With her, I’m more than disabled, more than my disability. I’m a fucking person.

Yet even with all of that, Gemma had her own special qualities as well. Her stillness was often mindfully calming.

My eyes fill up with tears, thinking about past memories of us when we were young and happy. “I’m trying hard, Gemma. It’snot easy without you. You brought something with your silence. You comforted me.”

She stands and leans forward to kiss my cheek before walking to the door.

“Be happy, Harv. Be the happiest happy person you can be because that’ll makemehappy.”

I nod as Claire walks out of my room.

I wish I had the mental strength to tell Gemma that she has it all wrong. I was so worried about losing her before we broke up, but once she left, I realized something. I didn’t need to be happy forher; I need to be happy for me.

I transfer to my chair once Gemma’s gone and wheel to the kitchen to get my phone. I’m too curious, now that my buzz is slowly wearing off, to see exactly what I texted her.

“I can’tbelieveyou,” Claire says accusingly.

She uncrosses her arms, and when I look up from my phone, I can see that she’s been crying. I wheel closer to her and grab her hand, but she swats me away.

“Do you feel better about yourself? You constantly say one thing and then you go and do theexact opposite.”

“Claire, what’re you talking about?”

“Oh, stop pretending, Harvey! Your ex-girlfriend comes over while we’re havingsex—for the first time, mind you—and you back her up and ask me to leave…”

I swallow. “It’s not like that…” I spit out, my speech rushed. “We just broke up, and I—”

“So don’t have sex with me, then! It’sclearyou’re not over her. That I can accept. I even understand it. But the fact that she came here tonight and you kicked me out—”

“This was her home not even two weeks ago! And I didn’t kick you out, you went in the other room.”

She scoffs, hands on her waist. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Claire, listen to me…”

“What did you really text her?” she asks, brows knitted together, frustration painted all over her face.

I look down at my phone and read the texts, knowing that this isn’t going to end well. Panic rises in my blood, and my shallow breathing picks up the pace. We’ve fought before, Claire and I, but this time is different. It feels more real.

This time, I can tell I hurt her.

What’s wrong with me?

I should’ve told Gemma to fuck off! Why couldn’t I do that to the woman who cheated on me? Still, I don’t want any secrets between us. I want a clean slate with Claire. No buried secrets or exes or depression.

I swallow and turn the phone around, imagining how she must feel reading the words in her head.

Harvey:How could you do this to me? Was I too much of a burden?

Harvey:A buden to u, bden to Hen and paents.

Harvey:Rmber I love yaxoi.

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