Page 103 of Frozen Flames

“Don’t go.” It’s killing me that she’s leaving me behind. It’s like I’m enwrapped in a cold, stormy night, and I can’t see where I’m heading or what’s next.

Everything is darkness and loneliness.

And I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go through that black hole to get to the other side. I’m afraid.

The unknown is daunting sometimes. Growing up, we were always asked what tangible things we feared, as if those are truly the scariest things in life. But no, losing Gemma right now is dosing my veins with multiple shots of fear.

I know it’s for the best and that I must let her go.

Yet.

Yet.

It’s still freaking hard.

I feel as though I’ll never comprehend it. And maybe I don’t need to, because some things in life aren’t meant to be understood. They’re meant to be felt and experienced.

I take her hand, and she looks so small. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I was mad. Fuck, I’m still mad. But…”

“It’s okay.” She swallows, looking at me with big green eyes. “We’ll be okay, Harvey.” For a second, I almost believe her.

I hand her a folded piece of paper. “For later.”

She nods and tells me, “Day by day, Harvey. That’s how we get through this.”

I don’t have the guts to tell her I might not have the mental strength. I’m not even sure it’s about our love either. It’s the routine we’ve formed over the years. Some habits are hard to break. Hard to shed and walk away from.

“Don’t forget about me.”

“Never,” she whispers, and I can tell that my words affect her.

Luckily, the sad moment is broken up when Henrik comes in. “Alright, Harv, Harv, I booked some hookers for later. Time to get this party started.” Hen looks at both Gemma and me with a goofy smile on his face.

Gemma shakes her head, then I notice Claire walk in behind Henrik.

She faces Gemma first and tells her, “Sorry, I didn’t know—” As if she has anything to apologize for. Gemma doesn’t know that I told her to take the day off. Maybe Gemma thought she had an appointment.

Her job is literally to be here.

This time, Gemma doesn’t ask Claire a million questions about my progress or how to take care of me while she’s gone. She just tells her it’s okay and wishes me goodbye.

And that’s it.

“I’ll be back later.” Henrik gives me an encouraging pat on the back.

I nod, seeing Gemma whisper something to Claire before she walks out and leaves with Gia and Hen. They’re following the movers back to her dad’s place to unpack, and then she’ll move on with her life without me in it.

I expected extreme grief to hit me in this moment.

Instead, I’m staring at Claire, eyes wide as she remains speechless, as if she doesn’t belong here.

“I thought I gave you the day off?” I hope it doesn’t come across as annoyance. Quite the opposite—I’m happy to see her.

“You said you didn’t feel well, so I thought you were sick. I thought I’d make you soup and bread.”

I nod. “Just some soup and bread?” I ask, like it’s no big deal.

Her smile gives me an inner rush. “We don’t even need to talk. Just let me cook, and hopefully you’ll feel a bit better.”

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