Page 102 of Frozen Flames

She folds her arms and looks indifferent—completely done with my ass. And I laugh, then sneer, because don’t they say that the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference?

“Claire would never cheat on me!”

“Then I hope you live happily ever after! At least you can get it up with her, right?”

I was just commenting on my sex life with Gemma, not Claire. She’s not wrong though. From the moment I met Claire, my body woke up.

Gemma looks like she’s about to crumble to the floor, and I can’t stomach it. It snaps me out of my fury right away.

I wheel even closer to her, taking her hand, not even thinking for a split second about my next words. “Maybe I can try. Let me try, Gemma. See if I could.”

Thoughts of Claire are still buried deep in the dark abyss of my mind. I don’t want to fail at my relationship. I have to get my life right again, and maybe this is part of it.

The thing is, deep down, I don’t really want to. I know that Gemma will say no, but at least I’ll have tried everything to the very end.

If she says yes, I don’t know what I’ll even say. Fuck, what am I doing? Suddenly, I imagine if Claire saw me in this moment. I’m literally cheating on her with Gemma right now.

What the hell are you thinking, Harvey?

“I begged you for overtwo years. But you never wanted to try. This whole time I thought you couldn’t get it up, but after seeing you jack off to porn one evening, I realized you could. You just didn’t want to withme.” She shakes her head and shuts her eyes.

And the fact that she thinks the sexual aspect is her fault is absurd. I felt weak and embarrassed and had too many mishaps to risk it around her anymore.

My pride wouldn’t allow me to.

“Gemma, it’s not as simple as you think it is.”

“I know it isn’t.”

“Don’t you want to at least try?” She shakes her head, and I ask her, “Why not?”

“I can’t.”

I laugh because this is precious. Even though this is the response I wanted, it’s also a slap in the face. “So you’ll cheat on me, but not on him?”

She turns on her heels and heads to her room.

“Answer me!” I’m so sick of being ignored by her.

Fuck.

“It’s too late.” She turns to face me. “Harvey, it’stoolate.”

And even though I know we’re broken up and she’s moving out, her words hit me like a train wreck full of oil.

Gemma’s moving out today.

I found out this morning.

And all I feel is the guilt festering inside me since I propositioned her last night. I can’t even imagine hurting Claire like that if she found out, or if she’d make excuses for me and understand my desperation to give it one last try with Gemma.

The rainy weather matches my mood on this fine Tuesday, and I’m glad I told Claire to take the day off because I’m not feeling well, and I don’t want to redirect my irritation at her.

I take the time to prepare a parting gift of sorts for Gemma. I draw every memorized detail of her on a piece of paper, hoping that wherever she’s going next, she’s as happy as she’s been recently. No matter how much it pains me to wish her happiness without me.

Then I wait for most of the commotion outside my room to halt before I wheel out, searching for Gemma.

She’s not far, and I clear my throat before approaching her.

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