Page 47 of A City of Hearts and Feathers

"Kahil? Come on, I thought you were going to fuck me?" Zoe complained, tugging hard at the cuffs and making her breasts bounce. She squirmed against the sheets, the skirt of her dress riding up higher. "Don't do this, Kahil. Just fuck me. I know you want to."

"I do, Zoe, but not like this," he said, rubbing his face with his hands. "I'm going to sit here and wait until you are sober. Then, you can decide for yourself if you still want me. I'm not going to let some maenad's magic take my first time with you."

Zoe groaned. "Please, please. My pussy hurts because it wants you so bad."

"You'll be okay. I promise." Kahil wasn't sure if he was going to be. He got up and went into the kitchen for a bottle of water for her and a beer for him. He willed his dick to behave itself. It wasn't listening. He ground his teeth together and took some deep breaths. The elixir he gave her would have her sober within twenty minutes; he just needed to keep her busy until then.

Back in the bedroom, Zoe was staring at the roof, her eyes full of tears.

"Do you want some water?" he asked.

She nodded, and he held the bottle to her lips. She had a mouthful, and he pulled it away. "You know you are a terrible person, and this is torture."

"For me too," he grumbled and stroked the hair from her face. "You'll thank me as soon as you're sober."

Zoe shook her head. "I don't want to be sober. It will make me too nervous to kiss you, and I want to kiss you so badly."

"You don't ever have to be nervous around me," Kahil assured her. He had a deep drink of his beer and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Do you want to hear a story while we wait?"

Zoe nodded, and her foot crept up to rest on his lap. He supposed that was okay as long as she wasn't kicking him. He put his beer down and ran his thumb down the arch of her foot.

"Harder," she moaned, and he almost had to leave the room again. Kahil resigned himself to massaging her feet for her. It was about as platonic as he could get and still be touching her.

"Long ago, I was born into a wealthy house as a second son. My father was a mean, demanding asshole that I couldn't stand," Kahil began, his fingers stroking her skin. "I did what all silly boys did at the time and ran away. I went to Genoa to my favorite cousin's place. He was gearing up to go and fight to protect Constantinople from the oncoming war with Mehmet II."

"What was your cousin's name?" Zoe asked, her voice sounding clearer.

Kahil hesitated. What did it matter if he was going to tell her the rest of story? "Giovanni Giustiniani. He ended up leading the defense of the city. We were part of the same house of d'Oria. He was this larger than life, powerful man, and I couldn't help but want to be just like him. He knew my plight of being a 'spare heir' and therefore the lesser son, and he let me sign on with his men to travel to Constantinople."

"You've really been in this city all this time?" Zoe asked.

"On and off since January 1453. I won't tell you the horrors of the siege or the days of atrocities after the fall." Kahil's memory slashed at him, but he refused to let them have any power over him. He couldn't bear to let them have free rein. "The contingent of men I was fighting beside retreated to Galata with many of the Venetians. My cousin Giovanni had already died of his wounds, so I was all alone, trying to get what remained of our men to safety. I had been stabbed by a Janissary warrior and knew I would die before I could ever get to a boat."

Zoe ran her foot along his thigh to try and comfort him. "What did you do?"

"I did what any good Christian boy did when he knew he was a dead man. I tried to find a church to get some last rites. I ended up on the doorstep of the Order. I didn't think anyone would be left in there, but I hoped for a priest." Kahil laughed softly at the foolish boy he was. "I got Arslan instead. He had sent the rest of the Order members out to try and help the citizens from the invaders. I'll never forget his golden eyes hovering above me, telling me that he wasn't in the mood for taking in strays."

"He did though," Zoe said softly.

"To this day I don't know why he did it. Maybe he was lonely. Or maybe the alchemist in him was too curious to pass up the chance for an experiment." Kahil ran a hand over his braid, thescattered feelings from that night bombarding him. "Arslan had been trying to modify the Sais elixir for centuries, but he didn't want to sacrifice any of the Order members in case it went wrong. Instead, he gave me the choice. He didn't know if he could save me, but he said without it, I was certainly dead. He said if I lived through it, my life wouldn't be my own anymore. I was okay with that. I never wanted the life of privilege I had been born into anyway. That night, Aurelio d'Oria died, and Kahil Reis was born. I've been Kahil ever since."

Zoe made a soft sighing sound. "Thank you for telling me. It makes sense now why you and Arslan are so close. You're all each other has had for so long."

Kahil rubbed her feet. "How are you feeling?"

"Embarrassed and desperate for a pee," she said, and Kahil got up to unlock her cuffs.

"I'm trusting that you're clear again," he replied, placing the small key in the lock. "Are you yourself?"

"I'm painfully sober. Whatever you gave me worked fast, and now I'd like to go and die of shame in the shower," Zoe said, her face redder than he'd ever seen. "I am also going to pee the bed if you don't hurry up."

Kahil unlocked the cuffs, and she quickly hurried to the bathroom. He sat back down on the bed, and after the shower went on, he knew she wasn't coming back any time soon. With a sigh, he finished his beer.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Zoe pulled off her dress and swallowed back the horror clawing up her throat. The things she had said to Kahil… She covered her face with her hands. What a nightmare. Swearing under her breath, she took off her makeup and got into the shower.

There wasn't enough hot water in Istanbul to wash away her embarrassment. She couldn't pretend it hadn't happened either. She had been drugged by magic, and it had been out of her control. Knowing that still didn't help her with the skin crawling shame.

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