It was a struggle, but Zoe tried to see things from her mother's perspective and not through the eyes of the hurt child that she was. "You should have told me about this world, about my family and the heritage we had in this city. I have felt so disconnected my entire life, and now I know why. I understand that you were trying to protect me, but I can't go back to London and pretend like none of this exists."
"I know, Zoe. I knew the minute you went back to that city that I would lose you forever," her mother said, voice breaking.
"You haven't lost me, Mom. I should have moved out a long time ago, and I am a Kartal. This place is in my blood. I missbaba. I want to finish what he started and find the things that he left for me."
"What things?"
Zoe ended up telling Anita all about the treasure hunt that she was currently on. She didn't mention the attacks on her person because that would only stress her mother out more. Zoe made it sound like her father had left a way for her to safely find the pieces of the codex, but he was going to make it difficult for anyone else to figure out.
"You knewbababest. Do you have any idea what this means, 'Triple-headed snakes dance high to watch the ground I grow'?" Zoe asked.
"Let me have a think. It's so like Oman to create something like this for you. He knew that you were like him more than me and would love the challenge of it." It was more than her mother had talked about him in years. After a long pause, Anita let out a sigh. "I don't know, sweetie. He was never interested in snakes as animals that I can remember. I know he loved the myth about Apollo fighting against Python at Delphi because he used to tell you that story all the time."
"Thanks, Mom. I think I have to keep digging." Zoe tapped her nails against her father's desk. "Please don't be mad at me. Iknow you like to pretend he never existed, but he is a part of me, and I feel like I need to be here."
Anita made a sound at the other end of the line, and Zoe realized that she was crying. "It's not that I wanted to pretend he didn't exist, baby. It's that I fall apart every time I talk about him. I love you so much. You are my daughter, but he was my whole world. I didn't know how to be without him, to raise you without him. All I could do was protect you in the way that I knew how."
A lump clogged Zoe's throat. The anger that she had felt towards her mother seemed to lose all its fire with those words. "I understand, Mom." And she finally did.
"Please, please take care of yourself. I know that Kerem and Kahil will do their best to look out for you, but don't get complacent. I don't know who killed your father. All I know is that it was somebody close to him. It was why I made sure that I moved you out of that city because I couldn't lose you too," her mother replied.
"I promise, Mom. I will find this codex, and hopefully, I will also find who killed him. We both deserve that closure," Zoe said. They said their goodbyes, and Zoe hung up before she started crying too. She missed her father. He would have known exactly what to say to calm her mother's worry.
Zoe stared up at the bookshelves again, her eyes snagging on the statue bust of Plato that was being used as a bookend. Engraved on the base of it were the words 'Gnothi seauton.' Know thyself. It was a concept discussed in Plato'sProtagorasdialogue.
Zoe had asked her father what the strange words meant when she was a child. He had placed his big hand over her heart and told her, "It means to know yourself and to know your heart. If you know yourself, then you will always know what you want. You always know what path is best for you." It was something that Zoe had taken seriously, which was why she had endedup in book restoration over a career that would give her more employment opportunities.
Zoe stared at the words now as an adult, and she tried to think about what she truly wanted. Her heart had always felt like a dangerous thing to trust over her head. Her heart had made so many mistakes with relationships and friendships in the past, her search to feel secure and loved driving her into the arms of the wrong people.
Being inside the bookstore, surrounded by memories of her childhood, Zoe once again felt the love and safety from that time. Maybe her ex-boyfriend hadn't been entirely wrong. It wasn't that she loved books more than people; it was that she had always been looking for this place.
A memory tugged at her, and she looked up at Plato once more.Gnothi seautonwas one of the three maxims of the oracles of Delphi—the place where Apollo had defeated Python and where his temple had been built in that battle's honor. Zoe had never been to Delphi, but she had visited a part of it in Istanbul with her father.
"The Serpentine Column," she whispered, the realization hitting her like a lightning bolt. The column had once stood in Delphi before it had been moved by Constantine the Great to Constantinople during his reign. The column was made of bronze, and it was of three snakes twined together.
"The triple-headed snake." Zoe shot to her feet and ran up the stairs to the apartment. She banged on Kahil's door. "Hey, wake up in there or I'm coming in." There was no reply, so she opened the door the smallest crack. The curtains were drawn, but there was just enough light to make out the bulk of him stretched out across the bed.
Don't look, you creeper,she chastised herself. He didn't strike her as a guy who went to sleep with clothes on, and it felt dangerous to find out.
"Hey, Kahil, I think I found out the answer tobaba'sriddle," she said, trying to wake him up. "If you don't get up right now, I am going out."
There was a rustle of sheets, and a sleepy voice grumbled, "Where are you going?"
"I have this super-hot date. I'm going to go and have sweaty, rough sex with him. Okay, see you when I get back," she called out and then shut the door again.
Zoe was reaching for the hot water kettle to put on tea when Kahil stumbled out of the bedroom, wearing a pair of soft gray sleep shorts. Her mouth dropped open at all the muscles in front of her. His chest was tattooed with a large Egyptian scarab in a hieroglyphic style, surrounded by blue lotus flowers. It was a gorgeous piece that she'd tried not to stare at the night before.
Now, she triedreallyhard to focus on the tattoo and not the shorts that did nothing to hide the outline of his dick.
"What fucking date?" he said, pushing the long tangle of hair from his face. "You're not allowed to go anywhere without me, Zoe. Especially not out for some cheap hookup with someone you don't know."
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the kettle," Zoe replied, gesturing to her ear and giggling at the outrage on his face. She squeaked in alarm when he was suddenly standing in front of her. He was so fast that she hadn't seen him move. His hands were on the counter on either side of her, surrounding her with his warmth and the spicy smell of him.
"You can't go anywhere without me," he said firmly. His eyes were still confused and full of sleep, so she took pity on him.
"Kahil, I just needed you to get out of bed. Although I kind of want to know what it is about me having a date that upsets you so much."
"No, you don't," he replied, the confused expression on his face disappearing into a molten glare.