Page 23 of The Healer and the Wolf: Part One

I trailed off when Leo looked so utterly overwhelmed. It truly did make me feel bad for him, especially when he looked down at his own filthy body.

“I’m still stuck as more of an animal than a man, aren’t I?”

Fuckingheartbreaking.

My throat tightened at the sorrow in his voice. I didn’t know what to say because the whole situation was completely outside of my depth, but I felt so sorry for him. He was essentially getting a crash course in humanity after it had been stolen from him for far too long. He was almost like a POW in a way, locked away from society and desperately trying to reintegrate.

His vulnerability touched me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Despite his intimidating appearance and the fact that he could shift into a wolf, Leo was clearly very much out of his depth.

I made my voice as soothing as I could. “Would you like a little help?”

Leo’s posture visibly relaxed, and relief flooded his handsome features. “Would you?”

I nodded, swallowing hard, trying to square my shoulders like I knew what I was doing. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

11

LEO

Ifelt like a fool.

A failure.

Anidiot.

Being human again was a complete shock to my system. It had come out of nowhere because I wasn’t even aware that I could be human. But I could, and ever since, I’d been so blinded by all the wonderful sensations that came from having thumbs, furless skin, and human tastebuds again that no negative thoughts could really reach me. I was almost a child again, seeing the world in brand new wonder.

Reading the books I’d found in Ven’s home had done something to my mind. I was now moreLeothan ever, but that just made me much more acutely aware of everything I had lost.

I’d had family. People I loved. Responsibilities. Important ones. Where were my people, and why wasn’t I protecting them? I was pretty sure I had been cursed, yet I had no memory of being cursed or even who would want to do that to me. So, why did I believe that?

It was a growing tumult in my head. As I stood in front of the shower in Ven’s bathroom, I realized my brain was still little more than wolfy sludge. I was missing entire chunks of what it meant to be a man.

What if I never got it back?

That sounded like pure torture. I didn’t want to live some sort of half-life where I wasn’t quite man and not quite a wolf, either. As I stood in the bathroom, though, staring at the shower, knowing it was an important room and an equally important task, part of me just didn’t want to comply.

In fact, that part of me was outright refusing. It was as if my mind was balking at processing any more of my humanity and wanted to force me to fall back into the simplicity of the wolf.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Ven’s voice called me back to reality, and despite the furor whirling inside me, I followed it. Her tone was gentle, with no derision or condescension. She didn’t judge me for panicking. My hands, although almost foreign to me, were deadly weapons that could rip and tear, but she held them gingerly, as if I were something precious, something valuable.

Her touch was a lighthouse in the dark, beckoning me to safety. But there was something more to it. An electric current that made me want to lean in, wrap myself up in her, and know everything about her—her soul, her past, that gorgeous body of hers. She was kindness just as much as desire, appealing to the wild and the man in me.

Even if I still couldn’t really remember who that man was.

“Here, just step into the tub for now. That’s all you have to do. It’ll be so easy, I promise.”

Step into the tub. Right, I could do that. The faintest memories of battles played out in my head, all much more fraught than just standing in a white, oblong bowl. I’d been through worse and most likely would go through worse again.

So, with my hand in hers, I stepped into the tub.

“There you are. That’s not so bad, huh?”

I nodded, humiliation burning through me, but at the same time, Ven’s presence calmed me. When she beamed at me, I was truly proud of myself. Like I really had done something worth celebrating.

“Are you wearing underwear?” she asked out of nowhere, and I realized that I had been staring at her, once again.

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