Page 33 of The Healer and the Wolf: Part One

I didn’t know quite what to expect. Maybe a small opening a bit farther in that we could both sit in? But that wasn’t what was awaiting us at all. While the path did suddenly widen about fifteen feet in, the area wasn’t small. It was practically the size of a very large living room and outfitted with creature comforts I hadn’t expected.

One half of it had a couple of camping chairs, a cooler with a solid layer of dust on it, a lantern, and a distinct fire circle in the center. The other side, however, had a hay pile as well as a heap of gnawed animal bones.

“You really did use this in both forms,” I murmured, taking it all in. The more I looked, the more I saw: a couple of hooks chiseled into the wall to hang things from, and a small shelf with camping supplies on it.

“Somehow, it stuck with my wolf form,” Leo said fondly. “I wasn’t aware I was going to a place I already knew, and I guess I didn’t realize it until we were talking.”

“I’m sorry so much was taken from you,” I said, tentatively resting my hand on his shoulder. We hadn’t touched since the night I’d helped him bathe, and electricity shot up my arm. Holy cow, my body was always so keyed up around him, like it was expecting things it very much shouldn’t. “But it seems like you’re getting it back.”

Leo nodded. “I think so. But so much is still missing.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, not sure what else I could say. It wasn’t like an amnesia-inducing, animal curse was a common topic of conversation.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Without you, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said, my damn cheeks coloring yet again. I needed to stop blushing so much around Leo or he was going to think that was my permanent complexion.

“I do,” he said firmly.

I had a comeback for that, but Leo passed me my phone, then started looking around for something. I was grateful for the reprieve. Sometimes Leo made me so tongue-tied. I wasn’t used to people talking as plainly as he did, and honestly, it was a breath of fresh air just as much as it was confounding.

“Ah, here it is.” Leo turned to me, holding something up. I couldn’t tell what it was for a moment, then realized it was indeed a lighter. “Let’s see if it still works.”

He picked up the lamp next, and after a few faulty starts, the lighter produced a flame. With a quick turn of the knob on the side of the lamp, a much warmer, cozier light filled the cave.

“This is really nice,” I said, more than a bit surprised. Despite my love of nature, I wasn’t a big camper. All things considered, I never really had much of an opportunity to camp. “Makes this place feel homey.”

“Homey…” Leo repeated in the tone he used whenever he was being particularly thoughtful about something. “I used to come here with someone, I think. When we wanted to get away from things.”

The streak of jealousy that went through me nearly knocked me off my feet because it made no sense. “Who?”

“I… I don’t know. But I do know they were important.” He flashed me a sad smile that made all jealousy vanish and guilt take its place. I had no right to resent Leo for having his own life. In fact, I should have been working harder to help him remember his life before the curse. “It’s strange to think that all this time I was so close to you.”

“Well, I’ve only lived here for three years, so depending on when you and your friend escaped here, maybe it was before me.”

“Yeah, maybe. I wish I could remember.”

“I wish you could, too.”

We stood there, caught up in the heaviness of it all. Although it sounded downright insane, sometimes it was easy to forget Leo had been a strange, giant wolf I’d discovered by random chance. He so often felt like a friend I’d known for ages. A cherished companion visiting after a long trip away.

“I should build a fire,” Leo said eventually. “It makes it nice and cozy in here. Wish I had some venison to roast over it.” He licked his lips, and I tried very valiantly not to follow the movement of his tongue.

It was entirely unfair that Leo seemed to have absolutely no idea just how attractive he was. From his chiseled jaw to his movie star smile, it was like he was specifically designed to entice me. Not that I was complaining. I appreciated the eye candy, but sometimes I felt a bit guilty for ogling him.

“Do you want my help?” I asked.

“You can help me gather up some tinder if you want.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

Using my cellphone to light the way, we went back out. Stepping into the hazy sun of the late afternoon was a stark transition from the darkness of the cave interior, but it was a welcome one. Leo and I searched for small sticks, pieces of bark, and other things that would work for kindling. Once we were sure we had enough, he sent me back inside while he looked for bigger sticks.

Despite my lack of camping experience, I had plenty of experience with starting a fire. In high school, bonfires had been the one social event I felt relatively comfortable with, since they were held outside and pretty low-key. No one ever expected me to act a certain way or even hold a conversation. I could just be and pretend I was like everyone else. Like I wasn’t an orphan with a guardian who clearly didn’t want me.

Like I wasn’t a kid who had killed her own mother.

I banished that thought from my head as hard as I could, choosing instead to focus on arranging the tinder in the most efficient way possible. But even with my best efforts to lock my mind down like a vise, tears pricked at my eyes. Even after almost two decades, I could still envision that night like it was yesterday.

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