Page 14 of The Healer and the Wolf: Part One

I would always be alone, and that was that.

It was what I deserved.

At least I had my animals. I fed them like usual, and if I gave them a bit extra, oh well. They deserved something nice. Once they were taken care of, I gathered up the food I brought home from work with the last of the money I could spare before my next paycheck and took it out to the wolf.

Strangely, what I dreaded not too many days ago I now very much looked forward to. Some of the pain in my chest tapered when I saw him sitting just outside the greenhouse, clearly waiting for me.

Was I anthropomorphizing him too much? Maybe, but I didn’t care. He was a companion, and one I was grateful for, even if it didn’t make any sense and was dangerous to have him around. Perhaps I did have a suicidal streak in me. It wasn’t like anyone would miss me.

Well, my cats would.

Granted, that was a big reason why I’d gotten them. I loved them to pieces and the thought of abandoning them was enough to keep me going even at my lowest. I hadn’t been at that point in a long while, but I could feel myself starting to slide back.

“Hey there,” I said, like he could understand because it always felt like he could. “Hope you’re hungry.”

He gave a light bark that let me know he was alwayshungry, and I dumped the food in front of him. Two more cabbages, a cantaloupe, some blueberries, all the discounted meat I could afford, and some thick beef bones the butcher wasgoing to toss because the new trainee had nicked them, so they weren’t pretty enough to sell.

The wolf didn’t care that they were ugly, and neither did I, so I was more than grateful for them. He was, too, I guessed, considering he was already happily gnawing on one.

He could just as easily do that to my bones, but I didn’t particularly care. I sat down on the greenhouse steps, and before I knew it, I was talking to him like he was a real friend.

Jeez, how lonely was I?

“I don’t understand why some people seem to make it a goal to make the people around them so miserable,” I said, looking up. The sun was almost setting, painting the sky in a beautiful tapestry of rich pinks, purples, and resplendent golds. We lived in such a stunning world. Why would people rather cause others pain instead of looking up at the sky and enjoying it?

“Sometimes it feels like something’s wrong in my brain that makes me not understand a huge chunk of the human experience.”

The wolf paused his chewing to let out a rumble. It seemed… placating in a way. Maybe that was also in my head.

I knew I should probably let him eat in peace, so I stared up at the sky and got lost in my thoughts. Nothappythoughts, but ones I was used to. After being on the earth for twenty-six years, I’d gotten used to the darkness that sometimes lingered at the edges of my thoughts.

But I supposed I was a bit too lost, because I didn’t notice the massive apex predator moving to come sit next to me and rest his huge frame against me.

He was a heavy lad, even without him putting his full weight on me, and I instinctively froze, afraid for my life. But either my survival instincts were totally fucked, or I was a lost cause, because after a minute or two I relaxed. And by relaxed, I meant I actually leaned my head against a giant wolf and let out a long sigh.

I underestimated just how nice the contact would feel. It wasn’t quite a hug from someone I loved, but I didn’t really have any humans left in my life that I loved. My mother was dead and my best friend had moved to Europe. We still tried to keep in touch digitally, but considering she was getting her master’s degree and planning a wedding, our conversations were few and far between. I was happy for her but, boy, did I miss her intensely.

The comfort from his presence was like a balm on my soul, and after a while I was moved to sing. It was an older song—one my mother had taught me. A haunting song about the world shrinking and slowly becoming less and less green. Not exactly a happy one, but sometimes music was just as good for venting sorrow as it was for experiencing joy.

I hadn’t expected it, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased when the wolf joined in with me. So, the first time hadn’t been my imagination. His howls and keens were the gentlest sounds I’d ever heard, like he was really trying to match me.

I’d learned long ago that there was no such thing as magic in the world, but as I sang with a live,actualwolf, I couldn’t help but feel that there was at least some enchantment in the moment. It truly felt like I was connected to him—genuinely connected in a way I shouldn’t be.

I didn’t want it to end, but after an hour or so of getting absolutely no work done and needing food myself, I finally let the song taper off.

“Goodnight, Wolfie,” I murmured, peeling myself away from the softness of his fur. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He let out a soft ‘wuffle’, then went back to his food. The fact he’d left his dinner for me touched me more than it probably should have.

I was reluctant to head inside, but I did anyway, wondering how a wild animal could already feel like such a good friend.

8

VANESSA

Irushed through my morning routine, feeding my cats, eager to get back to my newest friend. I didn’t have much to feed him—only some raw eggs and sausages. The processed meat probably wasn’t the best for the wolf, but he really needed to move on and hunt. As much as I liked him, I didn’t want him to be completely reliant on me, because frankly, I couldn’t afford it.

Really, I should call the rangers, I reminded myself for probably the thousandth time, yet I didn’t do it. Instead, I brought him out his breakfast.

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