Page 285 of Secret Shifters Next Door

“Is there a reason why you did this for me?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the crumbs on my plate so I wouldn’t have to look her in the eyes.

“Are you feeling better? Did the food help? If you’re still hungry, I bought you these, too.”

I looked up to see her grab a package of Oreo cookies out of a shopping bag and place them in front of me. I stared at the cookies for several shocked moments. Memories washed over me like a flood, casting everything else aside. Liam had always given me his share of Oreos, even though he’d never admitted it. The back of my eyes burned, and I had to blink furiously to stop the tears from spilling over. I hadn’t had Oreos in years because they reminded me of Liam too much.

With a shaking hand, I reached forward, tore the top back, and pulled out three of the small cookies. I ate one and couldn't help but smile as I chewed. It was like seeing an old friend. I raised the other two cookies. “I’d almost forgotten how good these were. We don’t have any milk, though. That always makes them better.”

Without a word, Ava got up, opened my fridge, and pulled out a full gallon of milk. She poured me a glass and set it beside me. “There you go. I went ahead and stocked your fridge and pantry. You had, like, no food.”

I shook my head. “Why are you here?”

She looked at me intently. “You need help. I’m here to help you.”

“I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m doing fine,” I lied.

“Fine? Right. You look like a starving P.O.W. You may not want to admit it, but I’m the only one whocanhelp you.”

“How do you figure that?” I asked, biting into another cookie.

She pointed at my chest. “Your panther is the real reason you’re messed up right now. It’s depression is affecting you. Tate told me what’s going on with you.”

Tate? She had gone behind my back to talk to my friends? And he’d told her? What the hell was he thinking?

As though she could hear my thoughts, she gave a slight shake of her head and sent me a warning look. “Don’t even think about pissed at your friends. Everyone is just trying to help you. If I’d known this was what was going to happen, I’d have hung around more to make the rejection less painful.”

I gritted my teeth, but knew she was right. So was Tate. Nothing I did seemed to be working. If anything, I was feeling worse each day. Did that make me weak? Probably not. Was someone who was dying of some disease weak? No. They were a victim of happenstance. It didn’t make them any less of a person.At that moment, I finally understood I couldn’t do this on my own.

“Does this mean you’re gonna be babysitting me from now on?”

Ava chuckled. “No, it just means I’m gonna be your friend.”

A laugh burst unbidden from my lips. It died before it was fully born, though. I could see in her eyes that she was serious. “Ava,” I said, my voice hard but not unkind. “We can’t be friends. You know that.”

“The only reason we can’t be friends is becauseyouwon’t allow it. I know you have hard feelings toward me and my family, and I can’t tell you how you should feel about the loss of Liam, or who you’re allowed to blame. That is not what we are discussing here. This,” she gestured to both of us, “is a whole new thing. Right now, you need me. If you want to be useful to your friends and in whatever battle or war you guys are planning, then you need to get your head out of your ass and find a way to forgive me. Even if it’s grudgingly. Because I do not want you dead. I made a promise to take care of you. And by God, I keep my promises, no matter how painful they are.”

My gaze slid away from her face to the kitchen table again. I had no words for her. Everything she said made sense, but I was having a hard time accepting it as truth. Too many years of anger and hate had built up a wall that was nearly unbreakable.

When I didn’t answer her, she huffed a breath and headed toward the door. My panther whined, and a deep visceral tug pulled at my insides. Before I could react, she stopped and looked back at me. “I’ll see you later.”

Surprisingly, that single statement calmed my panther down. The knowledge that she would be back, that we’d see her again soon, was a soothing balm on my and my panther’s psyche. A moment later, she was gone, the door clicking shut behind her.

My thoughts were chaotic and jumbled. I sat there for minute after minute, trying to make sense of things. When that didn’t work, I headed out to the woods behind the house. Being around nature used to put me at ease. Lately, it didn't do much for me, but I had to hope it would be different this time. I needed to have a little chat with my panther.

Once we were deep into the woods, I asked him what was going on. “Hey, it’s me. I know you’re in there, even if you won’t talk to me. Is this really what you want?” My voice sounded strange in the silence of the forest, but my panther could hear me.

“If we can never mate,” I went on, “do you want Ava, as a friend?”

A warm, fuzzy feeling erupted inside me. My panther purred and yowled with pleasure. I burst out laughing, then tears filled my eyes. The surge of emotion surprised me, and I had to put my hand out to steady myself on a tree. Being able to actually communicate with my panther after so long was such a relief. I’d never gone that long without feeling him. It made me realize all that I’d lost.

“I’m sorry, old friend,” I said. “I’ve put you through some shit, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

Forgive. That word weighed heavily on me. I was asking my panther to forgive me for putting it through hell. How could I ask for that when I didn’t know if I was capable of doing that for someone else? Did I even have it in me to forgive someone? Especially Ava?

My panther was settling and more at ease than he had been in a week. It was the most relaxed I’d been in days. I needed to try. As hard as that was for me, it was the only way to show my panther that I meant it. If he was able to forgive me, then I could try to look past my history with Ava. It would be difficult, but maybe, just maybe, it would be worth it.

TWELVE

AVA

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