Page 48 of Thawed Gladiator: Cassius

I drop the ring and cufflinks on the desk. “Oh, could you please send these back to Dara?” Laura gapes at them in astonishment. “And tell her I’m sorry the clothes and leather shoes were destroyed in the rain.” I pause. “Also, tell her thanks for the evening and her offer of… lodgings but I’ve discovered I don’t want to leave Second Chance.”

As I leave her office, I pass the training yard where Thrax and Flavius are sparring. They pause their practice to watch me walk by, their faces cold. The weight of their disapproval, of everyone’s disapproval, settles heavily on my shoulders.

Father Michael’s words echo in my mind: “The sin lies not in falling, but in remaining fallen.” I’ve fallen far, but I won’t stay down. Although I still don’t remember why I landed in aludus, I know I was a pampered patrician when I arrived. Somehow, I learned everything I needed in order to stay alive. This might be even harder, but I’ll succeed. I’ll prove to them all, especially Diana, that I can be better. That Iambetter.

I head toward the stables, ready to help however Diana will allow me. The morning air is crisp with approaching winter, but I barely feel the cold. I have work to do.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Diana

The regular morning routine of cleaning the horses’ hooves doesn’t calm me as it usually does. Nothing could cool my irritation at the news that Cassius is back. Laura texted me twice last night. Once to tell me about Dara’s frantic call, reporting that he’d bolted from the gala and disappeared, and again to say he’d been found and was on his way back to Second Chance.

My emotions have been all over the place, from relief that he’s safe to aggravation that he’s returned. Of course, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still care for him, even though I know I shouldn’t after the awful things he said to me.

I’ve avoided running into him all morning, but I know I can’t hide in the barn forever.

As if summoned by my thoughts, I hear footsteps. My heart lurches as I recognize his particular stride—confident but measured. I don’t turn around.

“Diana?” His voice is soft, hesitant in a way I’ve never heard before. “May I speak with you?”

I straighten, squaring my shoulders before facing him. The sight of him hits me harder than I expected. He looks… different. Humbled, somehow. The arrogant tilt of his chin is gone, replaced by something more genuine.

“I’m working,” I say, proud of how steady my voice sounds. “Catch me after hours… if you must.”

“Please. Five minutes.”

I gesture for him to continue, keeping Atlas between us like a shield.

“I was a fucker,” he begins. “Not just that night, but in the weeks leading up to it. I let memories of who I was—who I never want to be again—poison everything good here. Everything good between us.”

His sincerity catches me off guard. I expected excuses, perhaps even blame. Not raw honesty.

“You hurt me,” I say simply, then shrug. “But we’ve already covered that. Why are you here? I’m happy to resume your equestrian therapy.”

“Thank you, Diana. That’s kind of you to offer.”

I wish he wouldn’t say my name. It reminds me of the way it felt when he was inside of me, whispering my name with what, at the time, felt like… adoration.

He takes a step forward, then seems to think better of it. “I can’t undo what I did. But I want to make amends, if you’ll let me. I want to help with the program, in whatever capacity you wish.”

I study him, searching for any trace of the arrogant patrician who wounded me—wounded so many of us—so deeply. Instead, I see only remorse and determination.

“Sure. It doesn’t matter.” I try to pull off a nonchalant shrug. “I haven’t changed my mind about leaving.”

His face pales. “Leaving?”

“I’ve already spoken with Laura. I just need to find and then train my replacement.”

“Diana, please—” He starts forward again, but Atlas shifts between us, sensing my tension.

“Don’t.” I hold up my hand. “You don’t get to ask me to stay. Not after all you’ve done.”

“ButIdo.” Laura’s voice makes us both jump. She stands next to Varro in the barn doorway, arms crossed.

“We need you here,” Varro adds. “The program needs you. The men need you. The kids need you.”

“And if Cassius wants to help,” Laura continues, “he’ll do so under your direction. Your rules. Your boundaries.”

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