Page 8 of Zen's Crash

Evan and Kayla land back at our table talking about spending the night together. Zen immediately takes Evan aside and gives him what I assume is a stern talking to. Evan’s shocked and angry expression makes me think that Zen is imparting wisdom he’d rather not hear.

From my perspective, they’re both eighteen now. They might not be legal to drink, but they can have mountains of sex if they want. The minute that thought flies into my mind, I immediately realize they’re too young, and I have serious concerns about her reliably using birth control.

I lean across the table and ask, “Are you sure about spending the night with Evan? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You do know that, right?”

She gazes at me for a brief moment before she responds. “Look, I know worrying about me is your literal job tonight, but we’ve been together for almost a year. It’s time we fooled around a little bit, even if we don’t go all the way, you know?”

I reach across the table and take her hand in mine. “I get how awesome it can be when you finally find your one. You want to experience everything together. I know your sister already gave the whole sex talk. I’m just reminding you to use protection, and call if you get in over your head.”

“Yeah, we talked about every single thing we could think of. My sister thinks I’m ready, and so do I. Evan’s a nice guy. He wouldn’t do me wrong.”

Sweet Jesus, this girl is so naïve that it’s not even funny. When she and Evan wander off, Zen sits back down at the table and tells me, “I prepped him as best I could. I don’t think either of them are ready, so don’t be surprised if you get a call from her at some point.”

“I was thinking the same thing, but I guess she has to jump out of the nest sometime. I know they’re both eighteen, but they seem so young. When I was that age, I didn’t know what I wanted.”

“I totally agree. Though some would say I’ve never grown up,” he says with a laugh. Then he adds, “Would you like me to give you ride home or call you an Uber?”

“I hate Ubers. The drivers are all strangers, and some of them can get creepy. If you don’t mind dropping me off, I’d really appreciate it.”

He stands up and holds out his hand for me to take, like a real gentleman. I slide my hand in his and he takes me outside to his bike. I’d be lying if I said riding a motorcycle wasn’t on my bucket list. I’d always wanted to ride but had been scared of doing it all by myself. Riding with Zen is a nice compromise, so I jump at the chance.

He gives me a spare helmet and helps me strap it on before inputting my address into his cell phone. Of course, I don’t give him my real address, so I give him my friend’s address instead. If there’s one thing my father taught me, it’s never to trust strangers, or let them know where you live. The fewer people who know my address, the better.

Once we’re on the road with a crescent moon hanging high in the sky, I relax into the moment. There’s a chill in the air that makes my nose cold. I just hold onto Zen for dear life and let the wind whip through my clothing. Riding on the back of his bike makes me feel things—things a girl best not succumb to. Being practically alone on the open road is everything I thought it would be—intimate, exhilarating, and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s a shame that it will only be for one night.

When he stops his motorcycle, I waste no time telling him goodnight and running from him on shaky legs, right into my friend’s house. This hot, tatted-up biker who’s into God only knows what, is too much temptation for this lonely girl. Yeah, he seems nice, but you never really know about random people you meet.

I’m not ready to put myself out there for a serious relationship right now. I’m still hiding out from the guy who killed my dad, and I only just stopped visiting my dad’s gravesite every day a week ago. I’m still a complete mess. I don’t have anything to offer a man right now, except random outbursts of emotion, getting woken up by my nightmares, and being unwilling to leave my house most days. Going to the clubhouse with Kayla was the most adventurous thing I’ve done in months.

Tonight was like one magical night where I took a chance on going out to support my friend, and everything was amazing. I can’t expect that kind of luck to hold long-term. I wouldn’t be that lucky. Sadly, I’ve only got so many spoons, according to my therapist, and I can’t waste any of them on a relationship that’s destined to fail.

Chapter 4

Zen

Isit on my bike and watch until the door closes behind Lexi, and I know she’s home safe. Although she’s the prettiest woman I’ve ever met, and we actually have tons of stuff in common, at twenty-one she’s way too young for me. She’s also emotionally vulnerable from the loss of her father a few months back.

After dropping her off, I try to put her out of my mind as I ride home. She’s just a woman, and there are dozens of them in my world ready to jump onto my cock at a moment’s notice. I don’t need the one who’s too young and still recovering from the trauma of losing her father to a violent death—even if she’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and we have tons in common.

I make a concerted effort to focus on all the positive things in my life. A nice night ride was foremost among them. The night air is crisp, and the crescent moon is lighting my way like a beacon. As my tires eat up the road, all I can think about is how lucky I am to be living my best life. I park in the back of my shop and enter through the back.

My computer repair shop is set up on three levels. The shop is on the first floor, my apartment is on the second floor, and a couple of friends of mine reside in the basement. They get free rent and a decent wage for working in my shop in exchange for keeping an eye on the place when I’m out on Legion business. They’re pretty good at repairs but I pitch in during the eveningsand most weekends to handle the more complex jobs. Walter and Rob are outstanding human beings.

Exhausted, I head right upstairs to my apartment because the repair shop has been closed for several hours. My apartment is modern to the point of being futuristic. There’s motion-activated strip lighting running around the top and bottom of my walls. I made sure the large windows offer a good view of the night sky and the city lights.

My living room is a more elaborate version of my office at the Savage Legion’s clubhouse. I have a huge curved monitor taking up space along one wall, with three curved monitors above and below my big screen. My gaming chair is a leather, zero-gravity cockpit-type chair that vibrates to ease tension after a long, hard day. I have the best desktop computer that money can buy. It’s a tricked-out beast of my own making.

But that’s where most of the magic stops. The rest of my apartment is just sleek, modern, run-of-the-mill furnishings in muted grays, black, and white. It comes off as a techie’s mancave, which is kind of what I intended when I created it.

I grab an energy drink from my fridge and drop down into my gaming chair. While my club brothers party their asses off through the night, I usually spend my time online engaged in all kinds of virtual work. I’ve always been a guy who believes in hustling so I can be flush with cash. I like nice things, and I like working online. It’s another one of those win-win situations.

I fire up my desktop and jump into the digital world I love so much. The moment I log in under my personal screen name instead of my professional one, friends start reaching out to me. My handle is Architect because I like building up things and people rather than tearing them down, like so many othergamers. I remember being disgusted by GamerGate and did everything humanly possible to tamp down the discord.

My first message of the night says:

Architect, where have you been? I’ve been waiting on you to sign on.

It’s a message from a newbie gamer wanting to suck my brain dry again about the World of Wonders game, the most difficult virtual reality game ever invented. It isn’t even a real game sold in stores. It’s something hacked together to challenge the human mind’s ability to extrapolate and apply digital information, make us reconsider everything we thought we knew about ethics, and rethink our understanding of physics.

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