Page 21 of Possessing Her

My husband, mi esposo, who is soft only for me, is also romantic as hell, and looking back at our time together before, it’s a shock I didn’t become pregnant by his words alone.

I look around the space, realizing I’m alone in the room, and crawl over to my side of the bed. I must have rolled around once Johnny left the bed. I wouldn’t know since I’m such a deep sleeper and last night was the first time in years I slept without worrying over every last nuance of life. It’s then I spot the sheet of paper on the nightstand. He could have sent a text to my phone and gone about his day. Instead, he left me a letter, much like he did back before shit went to hell in a hand basket. I pick up the piece of paper to read the note with Johnny’s harsh slants of letters, heavy and masculine, exactly like him.

Cariño,

Went out for a bit. Coffee is ready, breakfast is on the counter. Mom and Dad are bringing Sebastian home around lunch. Call me if you need me.

Love,

Johnny

A sigh escapes me as I crush the letter to my chest, closing my eyes and cherishing another moment he’s given me. It also spurs me into action. I look around the room for another one of his touches, this one in the form of his discarded shirt. Whether it’s a plain cotton shirt or one of his button-ups, I need his comfort and scent to surround me.

“There it is.” Across the room, nestled in the corner, on the oversized chair, is one of Johnny’s shirts. I slide out of the bed, traipse through the bedroom naked without worrying about alittle boy sneaking in and asking for a snack. I’m his snack bitch, and I wear that badge proudly. I’m unsure of how long this shirt has been resting there, but I bring it to my nose, take a deep inhale, and soak in Johnny’s scent—spice with a hint of oak. I’ve got one more thing to do before I take care of the myself in the bathroom. I slip one arm in, then the other, and thread the buttons through the loops, not worrying about if they’re even with the other. When I left, I didn’t take very much. We had to leave quickly because a bed had opened up for Melanie, which meant getting my clothes and leaving, minus the one framed photo of us on our wedding day and having no idea things would get so much worse.

That I’d become angry with Johnny, that I’d mourn the thought of us never being together again, and yes, I’m well aware now that all of those emotions were normal and definitely misplaced. While I’d like to blame the fault solely on Melanie, addiction is a disease that grabs ahold of you and never lets go. Some people can work through it with counseling, different medicines, meetings, and rehabilitation, but for others, nothing works until they’re finally laid to rest.

I make my way back toward the bed, specifically on my side, where I should find what I’m looking for in the nightstand. I drop to my knees, and when I pull on the handle to the bottom drawer, I have to place a hand over my mouth. There they are, stacked nicely and neatly. The notes Johnny has left me. I should have known, and I’d bet the last dollar to my name that he has kept all the ones I’ve written him, too. The need to cry bubbles to the surface, yet the thought of allowing myself to do such a thing is not happening. I’ve done a lot of blubbering lately, and I’m over it. I place a kiss on the tips of my fingers before transferring it to the notes, then take one last glance before I close the drawer, making a mental note to ask Johnny about his before I go snooping.

A few minutes later, I’ve done my business in the bathroom, washed my hands, and am looking at myself in the mirror. The dark circles under my eyes have lessened, my eyes appear brighter, and I most assuredly have sex hair. I also look like I’m at peace for the first time in years. I’m back, well, mostly. We still have the hurdle in Georgia to deal with, plus I need a job down here and to right a few more wrongs, but for the most part, I’m where I was always meant to be.

“Please don’t take Sebastian from me.” I cross my fingers, look up at the ceiling, and pray to whatever higher being there may be. My stomach growling makes me move out the bathroom through the bedroom, and that’s when I hear it: the low music reverberating through the house. Another piece of Johnny, he always has classic rock of some sort playing when he’s home. Today, it’s a heavy riff of the guitar, the beating of drums, and soft lyrics of Led Zeppelin’sBlack Dog. I make my way through the living room, bypassing the kitchen, where I see Johnny has the coffee pot on and ready to go. How he doesn’t run on any kind of caffeine still floors me. The man only needs a solid four to five hours of sleep, wakes up, hits the gym, does office work here, and after dinner with me, he’d head to the club. At least that’s how things used to be, and judging by the way he went about things this morning, not much has changed. There’s even a plate of my favorite breakfast item: croissants.

This man. This amazing, beautiful, kind man.

A few short steps bring me to the hallway leading to the two spare bedrooms and home office. When Johnny mentioned me getting pregnant, a part of me was crushed to think about outgrowing our home. While some women dream of having a big house, a yard of their own, and living in a neighborhood, I never have. I’ve always wanted this to be ours to live in, to raise our family in, and to grow old in.

The way this side of the house is set up, at the end of the hall is Johnny’s office. On paper it’s a den, but he’s got a desk, bookshelves, a couple of chairs, and it has access to the outdoor patio. The other two bedrooms are on either side of the hallway. One has an attached bathroom, and the other shares with what you’d call the guest bathroom but can be accessed from inside the bedroom, too.

“Johnny?” I say his name when I realize the door is open to his office, but there’s no light glowing softly like he’d usually have it on. Instead, the bedroom on the right side of the hall has the door flung open, the overhead light on, and a whirring noise meets my ears.

“Sí, mi esposa.” I walk until I’m standing right outside of the room. My knees go weak, my heart beats rapidly, and I’m stunned speechless. I should have come home the minute Sebastian was born, took him away from Melanie and raised him without the traumatizing events he’s been through since he was conceived. All I can do is stand there and take everything in, my husband, my everything, and he’s doing more than he ever has to.

15

JOHNNY

“Aunt Winn, I help Uncle Johnny build things.” We did more damage at the store than I ever thought possible—five shopping carts full—having no ungodly idea what all a little boy would need until Lennie and Kenny went down a list that seemed to be a mile long. The only hiccup we ran across was shoe sizes for both Sebastian and Winn. None of us had thought to ask, and when Mom responded, we were already checked out. I decided I’d either order them online or Winn could brave the store with the girls again. I’d been cured from shopping for the next millennia.

“I see that. When did you get home?” Winn’s eyes are going from mine to Seb’s. Asher and Lennie helped me lug everything in, his pregnant wife only carrying the bags that were light enough for Asher’s standards. The service elevator made it a hell of a lot easier to load the big stuff in it, and then the other one, which opened into the foyer we put all of the bags in. From there, Asher helped me bring everything into the apartment before begging off. They had plans with his mom and stepdad. They’d given me plenty of their time, and I couldn’t ask for more. Tysen called while we drove to the furniture store, mentioninghe’d meet me at my place to help with whatever I needed. I told him I had it covered but appreciated it all the same. Winnie was still asleep when I left, and with my phone near me at all times staying silent, minus Mom sending a text here and there, I wanted her to get as much sleep as possible, especially with the news Matthew handed over an hour ago.

“A while. It’s after lunchtime,” I reply. Sebastian is sitting between my spread legs. I’ve got my hands on top of his, helping him hold the drill, and we’re working on the bookshelves. Everything else was put together, but at the last minute, when Asher pulled up with a stack of books, mentioning that kids love to read, I veered off to the furniture department.

“You sleep a lot, and she snores.” Sebastian looks over his shoulder at me with a goofy grin on his face, big and toothy.

“I do not,” Winn tells the room, pretending to be offended at being called out. I can see the lifting of her lips as she attempts not to laugh.

“Seb, bud. Love your bluntness, but we gotta be nice to the ladies in our life.” I take my hand off the piece of wood to tousle Sabastian’s hair. “Besides, she doesn’t snore; she breathes, loudly, but only when her favorite nephew has her take him to the park all day.”

“See, Uncle Johnny knows what’s up,” she replies. I watch as she crosses her arms over her chest, hiding the fact she’s braless. Can’t help that her legs are bare, though. I lick my lips. Winn’s gaze snaps to mine, and if not for my eyes taking her in, I’d have never seen the way she presses her sweet-as-fuck thighs together.

“I’m your only. ‘member?” Sebastian states, hitting the button with his finger to activate the drill. I hold it steady so it doesn’t move out of his hand, fall on him, and hurt himself or me in the process.

“Oh, I know.” She props herself against the door frame. I watch as her eyes bounce around the room, taking in the new bed, the dresser, and nightstand. The place we got the rest of the furniture for the house didn’t open in time for me to go there, so I hit another place. Still, it’s decent quality and will last him until he outgrows it. The framed pictures of what we could find are up on the walls, and the bedding is in the washer going through the rest of the cycles as we speak. There’s still more I’m sure I’ve forgotten, but Asher covered a lot of the necessities when it comes to first aid, checking to make sure there are chimes on the doors, smoke detectors, and carbon monoxide monitors, too. The building checks it twice a year, but it doesn’t hurt to have another set of eyes now that we’ve got a toddler in the house. Trent, on the other hand, tried to get me to put a television and gaming system in Sebastian’s bedroom. Yeah, it’s clear he and Kennedy are still new.

There are things you talk to your significant other about; electronics in a kid’s bedroom is one of them. I did snag a handheld gaming system that’s on the learning side. It has games that teach the alphabet, letters, sight words, and even a couple of simple math equations. We’ll see how that goes before we go from there and if we get Sebastian a tablet that’s more like Briar’s.

“Okay, really, how did you get all of this done, and how did I sleep through everything?” The black dress shirt she’s wearing is buttoned from the bottom to the top, but it looks like she didn’t work her way through all of them judging by the expanse of her chest and her tits being pressed together with her arms holding them up.

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