Page 57 of The Wrong Play

Jagger: Look, it was technically in the garage.

Me: Jagger. I can’t tell if you’re kidding.

Jagger: It wasn’t my fault!

Me: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT SOMEONE WHOSE FAULT IT WAS WOULD SAY.

Jagger: Anyway, I need you to go along with the doll thing.

Me: I am not taking the fall for your blow-up girlfriend/dead body.

Jagger: Then they’ll keep asking questions about the dead guy.

Me: I’M ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT THE DEAD GUY.

Jagger: Again. Unimportant.

Me: I need more information before I can agree to this.

Jagger: No, you don’t.

Me: Yes, I do.

Me: Did you kill him?

Jagger: No.

Me: Did you want to kill him?

Jagger: …

Jagger: Not the point.

Me: Uh-huh. So, what did this guy do?

Jagger: Again. Not the point.

Me: Jagger, did you take out a hitman and forget to cancel the appointment?

Jagger: No.

Me: Did the guy insult Mom’s cooking?

Jagger: You think I’d unalive someone for doing that? Did we grow up in the same house? We both know Mom’s a terrible cook.

Me: So you did unalive someone.

Jagger: NO!

Me: Was he a tax fraud investigator?

Jagger: Why would that be a guess?

Me: I don’t know your life, Jagger. Maybe you’ve been evading the IRS.

Jagger: For the last time, I did not kill him.

Me: Ok, so he just happened to be dead in your garage?

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