Page 157 of Sincerely, Your Enemy

Creepy.

But fascinating.

TJ pushes the gate to the area open and ushers me inside, never letting my hand go as he treads through the memorial with unmissable ease. He’s been here before. Probably more than once.

Then, he stops.

A majestic oak tree stands tall before us, a golden plaque planted at its base.

“Lacey, meet my dad,” TJ breathes out.

Samuel Hawthorne, Beloved Son, Father, and Husband.

I can’t help squeezing TJ’s fingers. “You mean that’s…”

“My mom’s boss. Yeah.”

This issomessed up.

“How are you feeling?” is all I can think to say.

I zoom in on the date written below his name. He was only forty-two when he died from a heart attack. Crazy to think thatTJ attended the funeral when he was a kid, not knowing they were saying goodbye to his biological father. Neither did he know the kids there were secretly his half-siblings.

“Like I want to scream at my mom. But mostly, I want to ask her why she did it.”

Time stands still for a second.

“She left a suicide note, you know?”

The truth crashes into me like a meteorite.

Suicide.

He saidsuicide.

“It was only a few words. ‘I can’t forgive myself. So, I won’t ask you to.’ I spent years convinced that she did it because she felt like a shitty parent. Because being a single mom had taken too much of a toll on her. She’d constantly apologize and tell us she wished she could’ve given us a better life. I could see her holding back tears whenever she couldn’t afford to put food on the table. Or when we needed new clothes and she couldn’t take us shopping. Vera always offered to help, but my mom felt awful about taking her younger sister’s money. I guess that’s why I thought… it was Daniel’s fault. I convinced myself it wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t left.”

I only realize I’m crying when the crisp evening breeze sweeps against my face, and the tears gliding down my cheeks create a hot and cold contrast.

“H-How did it happen?” I choke out, gripping his hand so tight it probably hurts.

He doesn’t seem to mind, matching my grip like my hand is the only thing holding him together.

“She tried to hang herself. She failed.”

My heart cracks down the middle.

She inflicted this on herself.

Thisis why his mother doesn’t speak. It’s also why she doesn’t react or move.

“The lack of oxygen to her brain caused severe brain damage. I was fourteen at the time. Kelsea was ten.”

The words slip from my mouth before I even know what’s happening. “Who found her?”

I’ve never prayed harder in my life than I do in this very moment. I don’t know what I’ll do if he says he or Kelsea had to see her like that.

“Vera did.”