Page 143 of Sincerely, Your Enemy

“What?” I choke out, my breathing quickening as I glance at Lacey for confirmation.

I don’t know if I believe him. I have no fucking idea what to believe, but I do know that I can trust her. I can trust Lacey, even though when it mattered the most, she couldn’t trustme.

Emotions trickle back into her eyes, and for a short moment, I recognize the girl I love. The one who didn’t always have her walls up in my presence. I don’t even need to speak for her to know what I’m asking.

In response, she gives a small nod.

Holy fucking shit.

It’s true.

“That’s why I left. Because I found out your mother was having an affair with her boss.”

No.

No, that’s impossible.

My mom worked at a luxurious hotel. She was a maid there. We met her boss multiple times over the years. When she would bring us to work with her because she couldn’t afford a babysitter.

His name was Samuel. He was married with three children, all boys. Kelsea and I would play with them at Christmas parties. Samuel was always so kind. He’d give me and Kelsea all sorts of presents.

“Your mom and I got along, and her parents approved of me because I was in law school, but it wasn’t… She didn’t love me like she loved Samuel.Hewas your father, Mathias. But he didn’t want his wife to find out he’d gotten his employee pregnant. He strung your mother along for years, promising that he’d tell his wife but never going through with it.

“He refused to give your mom a penny because his wife had access to all of their accounts. He knew she’d find out. Your mom would’ve believed anything he said. He was loaded. She dreamed of the lifestyle he could give all of you.”

“H-How did you find out?” I ask.

“It started after Kelsea was born. Your mom and I weren’t sexually active during that time, but somehow, she kept getting pregnant. I lied to myself for a while. Telling myself she was justvery fertile and the few times we had sex a year were enough to conceive, but it just didn’t add up. Then I suggested that she get the IUD because I was still in law school, and I barely had the means to take care of myself, let alone two kids. She agreed. I think she could tell I was starting to get suspicious. And then…” He pauses like he can’t bear to tell me the rest.

“Then what?” I press.

“Then her boss died of a heart attack.”

Oh my God.

He’s right.

I remember we went to his funeral. I was so young I didn’t think much of it, but it’s true. He died out of nowhere. And it shocked everyone. If what he’s saying is true, then that means my biological father is dead.

Not only that, but it also means I have three half-brothers somewhere out there.

“He was forty-two. Quite young, and no one expected it. It was right around the time I started to question if you were my kids. Your mom swore you were, but I still had my doubts. You didn’t look like me at all. Then I found out she’d gotten her IUD removed without telling me. She would try and initiate sex a lot more, too. I think maybe she thought by the time I did find out you weren’t mine, I would’ve gotten her pregnant for real, and maybe I wouldn’t leave. The truth is, she wanted me for financial support. Because Samuel was gone. And she knew she couldn’t provide for both of you without me.”

For all I know, he’s just making shit up so he doesn’t have to look like the bad guy.

This doesn’t sound like my mom. My mom was kind, considerate. She was smart. She wasn’t a manipulator willing to do the unthinkable to get some money.

“That was the last straw for me. I asked her for a paternity test. Then she confessed to everything. She admitted to the affairand begged me not to leave, but I was so angry at her I couldn’t stand to go on like nothing happened. You were around seven then, and you didn’t understand why I left so suddenly. I didn’t know what to do.”

A bitter laugh escapes me. “So, you just never came back? You’d raised us our entire lives, and you still left without blinking.”

“That’s not true! After I had some time to digest the news, I tried to come back. I knew there was no way I was getting back together with your mom, but I still wanted to be in your lives. By then, she was filled with rage and grief over Samuel. It was like she was mad at the world. She refused to let me see you unless I agreed to get back together with her. It was either I pay for everything the way I did before, or she’d never let me see you and Kelsea again. I didn’t mind helping her out, but I couldn’t go on paying for everything like nothing ever happened. And yes, I know it sounds stupid. Like I gave you up for money, but there’s also the fact that I had no rights. You weren’t mine. Legally, I couldn’t demand to see you, and she knew that. She used it against me.

“Looking back, I realize I should’ve fought harder. I loved you like you were my own. I should’ve given her more money, to hell with the consequences. I’m sorry, Mathias. I’m so sorry.”

I can’t speak. Hell, I can’t even breathe right now, the thoughts spinning in my head giving me a migraine.

“Shortly after that, I met Lacey’s mom. I still didn’t stop trying to see you. But as time went on, it occurred to me that coming back into your life when you were older would mean having to tell you the truth about your mom. It would mean potentially ruining your perspective of her. She was your everything. You adored her. I didn’t want you to think of her differently, and so… eventually, I just stopped trying. I decided to leave the past in the past and embrace my new life. But fromthat day on, I promised myself I would never let something as stupid as money keep me from my kids ever again, and that’s why?—”

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