Page 136 of Sincerely, Your Enemy

Stupid things like entering Lacey’s life with ulterior motives. That and letting Aaron humiliate her in front of everyone when he gave me plenty of chances to tell her the truth.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes when it comes to my relationship with Lacey, but the relationship in itself was everything but.

That’s why I’m here, sitting in my car, parked in the street across from her house at ten in the fucking morning. I couldn’t sleep for shit after I showed up at the drive-in to talk to her.

She was right about everything. I can’t expect her to forgive and trust me when I’ve given her no reason to. Getting her back starts here. It starts with telling her everything from start to finish. Letting the chips fall where they may.

I know things will never be the same once I’ve told her about my mom. Once she knows why I did what I did, she might never want to see me again, but I have to try.

If the only way I might get her back is by telling her about the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll take that risk every damn time.

For her.

I tried texting her after we had that conversation at the drive-in to tell her that she was right and I was ready to come clean. But my messages never even delivered, which means she blocked me. I don’t blame her. I’ve been blowing up her phone like a whipped little bitch, trying to stop her from slipping through my fingers once and for all.

I’m slowly going insane. It’s only been a few days since I lost her, and I haven’t been able to function like a normal human being.

I miss her so much it’s fucking me up. I can’t remember the last time I had a real meal. All I want to do is skip forward in time until I’m able to hold her in my arms again.

Wow. When did I become such awimp?

I inhale a sharp breath, bracing myself for the conversation ahead, and climb out of my car. I keep my eyes glued to her front door as I walk, praying to God that I won’t wuss out before I reach her house. I can barely hear my own thoughts over the pounding of my heart.

The next thing I know, I’m jogging up the stairs to her porch. Then I’m at her door, holding my hand up to knock.

Do it.

Fucking do it.

It’s the only way you’ll get your girl back.

I knock three times.

Nothing happens for the first few seconds, until I make out what sounds like footsteps on the other side. I hope she’ll be the one opening the door and not one of her siblings.

It’s clear my prayers have been answered when the door swings open and I lay eyes on her beautiful face.

She looks like she just woke up, with her hair up in a messy bun and wearing a big T-shirt and pj shorts. Her face twists with shock at the sight of me, and I feel compelled to say something before she slams the door in my face.

“Now you’re showing up at my house? Seriously?” she snaps.

“Yes, because you were right. You deserve to know the truth. All of it. I want to tell you. Ineedto tell you. If you’ll let me,” I word-vomit.

Her jaw drops.

Not the answer you expected, huh?

She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it as if the thought of putting a sentence together is unfeasible right now.

“Lacey, everything okay?” a deep voice calls in the distance.

I look up, immediately recognizing the man standing at the end of the hall.

“I’m fine, Dad. I’ll just be a minute,” Lacey says.

Memories slam into me so hard I practically lose my footing.

Daniel and I lock eyes across the room, and it feels like the air’s been knocked out of my body when the color drains from his face.

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