Page 159 of Sincerely, Your Enemy

I’m about to say something else when I feel something wet touch my face—something other than the river of tears coating my cheeks—and glance up.

Dark clouds have gathered in the sky, a downpour right around the corner. TJ’s noticed, too, but neither of us moves a muscle.

“My mom was the one who encouraged me to play guitar in the first place. She’d say me playing for her gave her the strength to keep going on hard days. I tried not to let that taint my passion for it, but over time, it got a little heavy.”

How could it not? It must be strange playing guitar, knowing the person who loved listening to you isn’t able to enjoy it anymore.

“There are so many things I want to ask her. But I can’t. Because even though her body is alive, her mind is gone. It’s so weird. Grieving someone who’s still breathing.”

It’s raining now.

“I’m so sorry, TJ,” I manage to say.

He nods. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you the truth.”

His brown eyes lock with mine, and in that moment, all I find myself thinking about is how much I want to hug him. Romantic relationship aside, I care for him.

And no matter what happens between us after this, I want to be there for him right now.

Without a moment’s hesitation, I throw my arms around his shoulders and trap him into a body-tight hug. He immediately welcomes my touch, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me in as close as possible.

He releases a long sigh of relief when one of my hands climbs into his hair and I begin to massage his scalp. He responds by nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck and breathing me in deeply.

A low rumble of thunder echoes in the distance, and the rain picks up in intensity, but we don’t care.

Because right now, we’re just two kids, hugging in the middle of a cemetery, praying for the storm to end once and for all.

Lacey

The next five days tick by at an unbearably slow pace, each second feeling like an eternity and testing the hell out of my patience.

TJ and I haven’t spoken since that night. I know the ball is in my court from the conversation we had before he dropped me off after we stopped by the cemetery.

Neither one of us said a word during the drive home, but I knew exactly what was going on behind those eyes.

I could tell he was wondering where we stood. Where those shocking revelations about his mother left us. And the truth is, I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted.

I couldn’t pinpoint how I felt, my emotions and thoughts a tangled mess I didn’t know how to unravel. Then, like he had been reading my mind, TJ turned to look at me and said, “I know tonight was a lot. And I understand if you need time to think things through.”

All I could think to say in return was, “I understand why you hated me. And I get why you did what you did. But that doesn’t make it any less painful.”

There was a beat of silence.

“TJ, you have to understand, it took everything for me to open up to you…everything. I was terrified of falling for youbecause I was so scared that you’d just end up hurting me, and then…”

“And then I did,” he finished.

I glanced down at my hands on my lap for a moment. “Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“I know. And I want to believe you when you say you had feelings for me, but?—”

“Have,” he cut me off.

My eyes snapped up to his.

“Havefeelings.”

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