Page 13 of Pet Project

“You doing alright, kitten?”

Matt’s voice helps to pull me out of the numbness I started to sink into back in the dungeon of the security offices. I felt safe enough with Don, but the security guy always makes me feel a mix of fear and rage that I used to feel around Michael before he almost killed me. It’s easiest to go numb around him rather than confront the reason behind the emotions in my experience.

Looking around, I notice we somehow ended up back in the coffee shop and I nod absently. I’m as alright as I think I’m going to get for today. Ever since I saw Michael a few months ago, I have been living on the knife’s edge with my anxiety. I didn’t realize it was affecting Toby this much as well.

“Where’s Toby?” I ask when I notice he isn’t next to us. Fear starts taking hold again at the thought of him being taken away from me. My leg starts to shake andbreathing is getting harder. I can’t lose Toby. I can’t ruin his life too.

Matt puts his hand on my leg to stop the shaking and says, “He’s in the dean’s office giving a statement about the fight and what went down with Ralph, the security guard. He isn’t in major trouble and will be back here soon.”

“But what about the guy he hit?”

“Greg deserved a good hit to the nuts for what he did to his girlfriend,” Matt chuckles and takes a sip of his coffee. “He never should have pretended to be someone else to sleep with her best friend at a party last year. She found out he’s been seeing both girls since then, without them realizing.”

The wink he gives me makes me smile. My love of melodrama is well known in the house. One of my most vivid memories with Mama consists of our daily dates to watch her soaps. I was too young to really understand what was going on, but I loved to watch her reactions to the insanity on the screen. After she died, it was one of the few ways I had to remember her without feeling pain or fear.

Sipping my hot cocoa, I let the warmth flow into me. It’s still too warm outside for hot drinks, but the encounter with the security guard left me feeling cold inside.

“What’s going to happen?” I ask in a whisper.

Matt sighs and leans back in his chair.

“Toby will get a warning for violence, but with what happened down in the basement, it will likely be verbaland not even recorded in his file. Greg will hopefully learn to be honest that he wants to be in a poly relationship with his future partners. And Ralph is going to be fired. The cameras in the rooms down there record sound as well as video, so the dean knows exactly what was said. It’s a fucking massive understatement to say he is not happy.”

I take another sip and ponder over that last part. If that’s true, that means everything that has happened down in that place has been recorded. I wonder…

“How long do they keep the recordings before deleting them?” I try for a conversational tone, but judging by the suspicion on his face, I don’t think I’ve succeeded. “Would they still have videos from the summer? Or last year?”

Matt purses his lips but seems to consider it before answering. “I know they regularly hold onto the last ninety days, but I’m pretty sure they have an offsite storage where they keep the older recordings.” He narrows his eyes at me before asking, “Why?”

I explain to him the times that I’ve noticed certain students would get sent there for things like harassment and bullying of the outcasts in the student body, but nothing would ever seem to happen. I have spent a lot of time being invisible, and I notice a lot as a result. There have been a lot of violations to the school code of conduct that have been overlooked just because the perpetrator looks like Toby or Don, especially if the victim is someone who looks like me or is a woman or flamboyantlike Eric.

“I’m pretty sure the officer guy threw out the copy of my restraining order as well,” I tell him as the door to the shop closes.

“Well,thatis getting rectified,” a voice from across the room calls out, making me jump. I had forgotten we were in a public place. “The safety of all of our students takes precedence over anything else in my university.”

Gasping, I duck down to hide behind the curtain of my braids. Why the fuck is the dean talking to me?

17

TOBY

Throwing my backpack onto the bed, I growl out my frustration at the situation I put us in. Not only did I overreact and attack some random guy, but I also added another enemy to watch out for when it comes to protecting my friends.

“Why am I such a fuckup?!” I yell into air.

“Maybe it’s not you that keeps screwing up, pup.”

Scott’s voice from the doorway shocks a squeal out of me that has us both dissolving into giggles once the surprise wears off. Plopping my ass on the carpet next to my bed, I throw my head back on the mattress with a sigh.

“What’s wrong with me, Scotty?” I ask him as he takes a seat in my gaming chair in the corner. “Why do I keep causing problems for everyone I care about? First my dad, now Shiloh. Next it will be you guys… I’m cursed”

Scooting the chair across the floor, Scottreaches down to pat my knee before he leans back again. Adjusting his glasses, he turns toward the window with a pensive look.

“You aren’t cursed, Toby,” he says quietly. “You just have a habit of bringing things to light that should never have been hidden in the first place. You helped your father see how toxic his marriage was and you saved your siblings from the fear and shame your mother’s side of the family would have put them through as they got older.”

Shame and fear? Mother never made me afraid. Grandfather did a few times when I was too energetic, but not my mother. The only shame I’ve felt is that I couldn’t be what was expected of me. But I never felt like I had to hide who I am. I was just disappointed that I couldn’t be what they wanted for the eldest son.

“I can smell the burning from here,” Scott chuckles. “You might not have felt that way, but do you honestly believe with you coming out that those assholes aren’t going to double down on your little brother to be a proper man? You coming out to your father and shining the light on the bigots on your mother’s side of the family lets Richie and Rachel have the freedom to find who they truly are as they get older.”

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