Page 12 of Drag Me Up

“Deal,” Eric says as he starts to drag me toward the store. “But you are getting an apology present from me and you’re not paying a dime. This is my fault and as a man I have to make up for my mistakes.”

Laughing all the way to the front door, I am slightly terrified what this insane little boy is going to come up with as an apology present.

I’m still smiling at the memory as I towel off from my shower. The little shit wouldn’t let me see what he picked up for me until we were back in the car heading home. I had called my mom while Eric was in thecheckout line so that I could let her know he had snuck out. All in all, we were gone for over four hours, but his parents never even knew he had left the house. They never paid any attention to him unless it was something that could impact their reputation in society.

Shaking my head to clear the darker turn my thoughts were about to take, I pull on my only clean pair of jeans over my generic black boxer briefs. Sylvia always tried to get me to wear something more exciting, but I don’t see a point in fancy underwear for men – at least not for me. Throwing on a white undershirt and a light blue button up, I almost look like I’m getting ready for work.

Sighing, I pull on my black utility boots instead of my dress shoes. I untuck and unbutton the shirt and pull my hair out of the tie I use most days to keep it from getting in my way. My hair has just enough curl that if I cut it too short, it sticks up at all angles. I keep it about chin length and pull it back so that it’s manageable and presentable without needing to use any type of hair products.

Glancing in the mirror, I realize I’m also sporting some wicked stubble. I’m about to head to the bathroom to shave it off when I realize I will be late if I don’t leave now.

Fuck it.

No one is going to care if I have a bit of scruff for watching a show. Plus, it’s probably best if I don’t try to look too cleaned up or attractive. I don’t want to lead anyone on. Sometimes, being the only straight friend in a group is a challenge on my social battery.

10

ERIC

Fr3n3my:

When I said no shows until next month it was for the planned shows.

Fr3n3my:

You missed your shifts last week. You are still expected to make an appearance and walk the floor even if you aren’t selected to perform on stage

Fr3n3my:

If you miss tonight, I’m taking you off the schedule and you lose your solos in the next show

Reading the texts from Clarence should make me feel something. I get to perform again. Maybe? This “selected to perform” bullshit is going to need some explanation. But all I feel is numb. My usual look, Miss Sassy Frass, is absolutely flawless and the patrons love her, but I don’t have the desire to put on the Sassy mask tonight. She’schipper and friendly and just not what I can manage right now.

Maybe it’s time to try out the persona Lucky suggested for me when he first showed up…

I don’t even attempt to stop the smirk as I sit down at my vanity to transform from Eric a la roadkill to Bratney Bitch. I have about an hour to get the look I want and get there for the start of the show. The bruises from last Friday are finally faded enough that I don’t have to do too many layers of coverup. I finally don’t feel like a freak leaving my room. The rest of the guys have apparently accepted the word of the resident subs that I am fine.

I just wish it was really true. It’s getting harder and harder to keep pretending. Eric Mendleton is no more. I don’t know who I am anymore. So I paint on a character that isn’t conflicted. She isn’t confused about why her brain and body don’t work right. She isn’t terrified of waking up in a strange place because someone dared to tell her she couldn’t do something.

She is me for the night. As long as I can be her, I won’t fuck things up for everyone again.

Three hours later and I’m strutting my stuff around the floor of the Monarch Room while Cleo introduces Lizzerati as the next act. I wasn’t aware we were going back to the old way of deciding who would go on with a fucking sign-up sheet backstage. Had I known, I would have brought my ass down here to get glammed up instead of hiding away in my room until the last minute.

Oh well, at least the crowd tonight is better behaved than the last time I was here. Then again, the riffraff isusually turned away on the nights that Theo is on the door. I was surprised to see him since he usually works Saturdays at the club, but Clarence must have missed having his boy toy close by. At least the beefcake knows what I’m looking for when it comes to the clientele.

“Any prospects for me Teddy-boy?” I ask, sliding onto the stool next to the door while he stands outside on the stoop to smoke a cigarette. Technically, he should be ten feet away, but he only lights up when there’s no one outside waiting to get in and Cleo is backstage and can’t see that he’s not at his post.

“You know, my Clare Bear hates that you call me that, right?”

I wave his nonsense away. Of course, I know Clarence hates that I call his boyfriend by cutesy nicknames. It’s why I do it after all.

“That old queen needs to remove the stick from his ass. Or maybe you need to put yours up there more often?”

Theo starts hacking up a lung, and I wonder for the umpteenth time why the hell he still has that disgusting habit. I tried it. I was even a pack a day smoker for a few years as a big old middle finger to my father. Then,thathappened and I couldn’t afford food, let alone cigarettes. I never picked it back up, not regularly anyways. Occasionally, I will have the urge strike, but the first hit tastes like licking an ash tray and it’s enough to make me stop. And yes, I have actually licked ashes for comparison because my brain is a fucked up place that demands some fucked up things of me sometimes.

“Brat,” he chokes out as he puts the cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe and pocketing the butt. At least he doesn’t litter.

“It’s Bratney Bitch,” I say with a flip of my wig. “Or at least that’s who I am tonight. So, back to myquest-ion, any prospects for me? I’m off in an hour and need to find a good fucking before I lose it on my roomies.”

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