Page 34 of Drag Me Up

I am left staring at the front of the house as the sound of the deadbolt turning signals the end of my visit. The bastard took him off his medications.

Running back to Mom’s little apartment in the staff quarters, I hurriedly scribble a note telling her I’ll be staying with Jackson. I can’t risk making things worse for Eric by being here.

“Is that why you weren’t there for my graduation party?” Eric asks, breaking me out of my memory. “Your mom told me you were coming and I was so excited, but then you weren’t there.”

I pull him tighter against me and try to explain.

“Your father’s attorney sent me an email after Mom invited me on your orders. I was allowed to be there for an hour. I even snuck up to your rooms, but I thought I’d lost my little unicorn boy.”

27

ERIC

He was there? How did I not know that?

Wait a second…

“Did you leave me a card?” I ask him as something is tickling at the edge of my memories. Father was talking about a card to someone on the phone after the party was over. His confused nod is the confirmation I needed for my brain to finally start to make sense of the memory.

“I wrote one to explain everything, to tell you that you were welcome to hang out with me in Boston if you still planned to go to Harvard. I had just gotten a job as a junior professor at one of the smaller colleges up there. I missed you so much, but when I saw your rooms and how they were so very muchnot you, I freaked out and dropped the card in your trash can.

“I regretted it the next day, but by then, the lawyers had descended and told me that I could not be within three hundred yards of the property and that if I were to attempt to contact anyone of the Mendleton family, Iwould be forced to repay the debt immediately in addition to trespassing and harassment criminal charges. I was also told that my mother would face the same penalties, plus losing her job, if I ever tried to use her as an intermediary.”

I’m pretty sure my mouth is hanging open wide enough to blow an elephant at this point. Matt was there? My mother told me she knew nothing when I asked her about why he didn’t show, which I’m guessing is probably true. Father told me to forget childish notions of friendship and forced me to socialize with his business partners instead of letting me hang out with my friends from school.

Spencer was the only one there who seemed to genuinely give a shit about me not getting to enjoy my party. He kept joining me with the adults instead of splashing in the pool like the rest of them. Even he was shocked that Matt was a no show. He’d only been hearing me talk about the guy for years at that point.

“I heard Father on the phone in the lounge after the party. He had a card in his hand that I didn’t remember seeing at the party,” I tell Matt while I try to piece together the fuzzy memories. I was heavily medicated at that time in my life, so most things just blend together. “He was asking someone to head to Boston, but I don’t remember much more. He was angry and I didn’t want to deal with him anymore. I barely managed to convince him to let me live in the dorms at Hawkins, I was afraid to risk him pulling that little bit of freedom away from me.”

Matt pushes me to sit up and turns me to look at him. “Didn’t you go to Pitt? I saw the acceptance letter on your desk.”

Chuckling, I lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek before laying down to put my head in his lap. “Pitt wasmychoice, but Hawkins is more exclusive and looks better on a resume. Or at least that’s what he said. I was tired of being stereotyped for being a rich kid, but I just went with what my father wanted to be able to get away from that house.

“It wasn’t bad though. I somehow eventually ended up rooming with Steve who was there on scholarship. His girlfriend, now wife, Jen went to Pitt and lived off campus. I got to be a regular college student thanks to them… Well, at least for a little while…”

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Matt asks gently while running his fingers through my turquoise strands. “I got the overview from the article, but if you ever want to share the details, I’m here to listen. I’m never leaving you again.”

Instead of telling him anything, I just nod and reach for the remote on the coffee table. Turning on Netflix, I pick out a movie for us to relax to. I’m not ready to share this with him just yet, but for the first time in five years, I feel safe… safe enough to remember everything, on my terms.

As the opening credits for Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law start to play, I let my mind drift back to five years ago.

28

ERIC

Five Years Ago:

It figures that I can finally legally drink, but I have zero desire to do so. Yesterday was my twenty first birthday, and just to hold to my life’s shitty pattern, midterms. I know I aced them all, but it’s still hard to fight off the adrenaline crash after testing.

“Bi-Polar disorder with Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD” is my official diagnosis. It took crashing my car into the fountain for my father to finally recognize that I, in fact, needed those pills that my high school tutor Miss Melanie was getting for me. She thought she was giving me a bit of extra focus, but in reality she was helping my brain function closer to normal than it ever had before.

Unfortunately, my father took it to the extreme and had his family doctor over-medicate me. I was a fucking zombie for my last two years of high school into my freshman year of college. Much to my father’s dismay, the medications didnot cure the gay away even if they did take away all of the joy from my life.

After having to visit the clinic on campus for a case of strep throat, I found out that I don’t have to go through my father’s physicians to get my medical care. Through the assistance of some friends in the dorm, I found out about free clinics all over the county for people who do not have insurance. While I could easily afford to pay the fees associated with care, my father’s accountant would surely flag the purchase and it would defeat the purpose of seeking my own care.

The next week, I sought out an independent, low cost psychologist and have been in control of my medications ever since. It has taken me almost two years to get my meds properly adjusted to where I feel like a normal human being, and now I’m going to be able to get into some night clubs to truly live for the first time in my life.

“Yo! King!”

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