Page 14 of Drag Me Up

Hell fucking yeah, it’s confusing.

But tomorrow is Eric’s birthday and I haven’t seen him since the fountain incident. It’s been almost ten fucking years since I broke my promise to him and lost the second most important person in my life. I guess if anything, having a sexual identity awakening at least serves as a good distraction from the guilt that has been eating me since I moved into my new place.

I send a wave toward the backstage area to say goodbye to Clarence, also known as Cleo Lee DeStarr, Mistress of Ceremonies. The promised act was a comedic strip tease set to Van Halen’s Hot for Teacher. Everyone at the table got a good laugh out of that one, except for Spencer’s boyfriend who has spent the entire evening coloring and ignoring everything else.

Eli walks outside with me and waves Theo away when the man goes to put out his cigarette to come back inside.

“I thought you’re straight?” he asks bluntly walking across the small lot with me. “You do realize the only women in there tonight were the ones dressed as men on stage, right?”

I give him a playful shove as I get to my car. Leaning against the door, I think about what he’s saying. I know he doesn’t mean it in a hurtful way, but it almost feelslike he’s rejecting the possibility that I was allowed to change my sexuality.

“Humans have the capacity to grow and learn and change throughout their lives,” I say with my teacher voice to not show my surprise anger at his statement. “Is it really that difficult to accept that maybe I always said I was straight because I was never really exposed to anything that challenged that assumption until recently? Does a person have to be constrained into a sexual identity once they identify it to others? Or can it change and expand as the person grows and learns more about themselves?”

I turn to get into the car, but Eli’s hand on my elbow stops me. Turning back to face my new friend, he looks contrite.

“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely. “Knowing the stories I know, I was a shithead for saying that. I was told by a very smart friend once to not make assumptions when it comes to sexuality and discovery.

“I’m glad you felt open enough to share that with me, Matt. I just don’t want to see you get hurt or inadvertently hurt someone else by just experimenting or forcing yourself into a mold you aren’t supposed to fit. Just because you are surrounded by the alphabet mafia of sexual and kink identities doesn’t mean you have to change who you are to fit in. We will like you for who you are, even if you have to fail Toby.”

Laughing, I pull him into a one armed hug. I have to say, it feels really good to know that I’ve found someone like him to call a friend. Since high school, I haven’treally had anyone that I can say with certainty would have called me out like that. My friends in Boston would have either teased me or pretended not to hear it.

“Toby will get the grade he earns,” I say as I get into my car. “As for the rest, come on by for dinner tomorrow. You can meet my mom if you want. We’re supposed to do lunch. She just got back from her girls’ trip and if I don’t have a buffer, she will redecorate the entire trailer while chastising me for being so rude as to move while she was away, even though she demanded I do it. You’d really be saving my ass.”

“Fine,” he huffs out with a laugh before glancing toward the employee parking lot. “You better be making something phenomenal. I’m a picky eater.”

I laugh as I close my door, watching him head over to the back of the building. For a man who claims he isn’t a Daddy, he certainly has a lot of the tendencies.

Plugging the hotel into the GPS app on my phone, I appreciate the fact that it is located decently close to home. At least if things go well, I have a short drive home in the morning.

I really hope they go well.

12

ERIC

Shit. He saw me.

I don’t know why Eli was talking with Lewis, but I certainly hope he wasn’t warning him off me. Watching his dark sedan leave the parking lot, I can only hope he’s still heading to the hotel. At the very least, he seems like the kind of guy who would turn me down to my face and not ghost me.

What the fuck am I saying? I said like two sentences to the guy and offered to fuck him and he agreed. Nothing about that says “nice guy.”

“You’re scheduled until eleven again,” Eli says as he comes around the corner. “Why are you out of costume and outside?”

The high I had been feeling from meeting Lewis is wiped away by the interrogation I’m facing. All that is left is the anger and pain. Why does this man in front of me think he has the right to manage me? What gives him the gall to think that he can control me?

Yeah, his father is a billionaire. So fucking what.

I’m pretty damn close to that myself at this point. I learned to live off my club earnings during those few years I was cut off, and never stopped living that way. My trust fund was released to me on my last birthday, and in the twelve months since, it’s more than doubled through investments.

“You aren’t my father, Eli,” I snap at him and push off the wall toward my Mini. “I don’t have to tell you shit – or him for that matter.”

“Eric, we just worry about you. You know when you fuck up your schedule, shit always gets worse. You might not look at the calendar, but I do. I know what tomorrow is, what Monday is…”

I make the mistake of looking at his face. Pain and fear don’t belong on Eli’s face. He’s a fucking Sadist. He is the one who is supposed to inflict the pain. I broke him.

What the fuck did I do?

I bolt for my car and tear the door open. I can hear Eli and now Spencer calling for me, but I slam the car into drive and peal out of the parking lot. I need to get away from them. I need to get out of my head. A good fucking is what I need.

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