Page 20 of A Little Spilled Milk

“Do you jerk off thinking about me?” I hid my head in my hands, shocked that I said it. It was bad enough I thought about it.

“Sweet boy, you don’t have to be embarrassed and hide. I’m not.”

I peeked between my fingers. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. Come snuggle on Daddy’s lap, like you do after milkies.”

I climbed on, and he held me close. “Now to answer your question, yes. I do. You have no idea how often you are in my head.”

His words had me snuggling in closer. “Is it weird that your answer makes me happy?”

“Not at all. We can’t control how we feel about anything, and assigning weird to some of those feelings invalidates them.” He kissed the top of my head.

“I think I want you to tell me if I can or not or at least make some rules about it. Not because I need to be controlled.” That was so not my thing. “But because then I don’t have to think about it.”

“I’m so proud of you, and you can absolutely jerk off thinking about me whenever you want and I’m not there to give you what you need. And if you want to tell me about it later, I’m down for that too.” He slid me off of him and set me on the couch before kneeling in front of me. “Now it’s time for your treat.”

That conversation had changed so much for me. Sure, it dealt with the topic at hand, but it was so much more than that. I learned that talking to Daddy and being clear about my needs, even when it was uncomfortable, was the only way to get my needs met. If I’d talked to him earlier, I’d have saved myself so much guilt.

And that was why, instead of taking the time to jerk one out, I rushed to finish my shower. I needed to call Daddy.

I didn’t even get dressed first, my hair still dripping, when I called him and put it on speaker to avoid getting my phone too wet.

“Sweet boy, I was going to stop by on my way home. Daddy could use a hug.”

“If you showed up now, it would be a naked hug.” I giggled.

“You called me while naked… Either something is heavy on your mind or my Little is feeling a little adventurous.

“The first, but we can explore the second after.” Because now I wanted that too. “I want to go to the club tonight. To be Little and play. But I also want to get dinner with you.”

“What am I missing? This sounds like more than you want to hit the club after we eat.”

“I want to play before the night crowd comes in, and it will cost you a cancellation fee and that’s not fair, but not telling youwhat’s racing through my head isn’t fair to you, so… that’s all of it. Fix it, Daddy.”

“Daddy is going to hang up now. I’m almost home, and I’ll stop and see you first. Deal?”

“Deal.”

I was still in my towel when he arrived five minutes later. He pulled me straight into a bear hug and then let me know he moved our reservation until later so we could hit up the Little room too and assured me he wasn’t charged the fee. All of that was great, but the best thing of all was when he hugged me close and said, “I needed this, my sweet boy. Going a full 24 hours without a Vinnie hug is far too long.”

12

EMORY

Vinnie had the day off, but I had to work.

We’d agreed to have breakfast and lunch together and that he would either stay in his apartment the rest of the time, or be in my living room reading quietly or streaming on my tablet.

My little boy wasn’t very good at amusing himself, and after settling myself at my desk, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in, Vinnie.”

“Can I have some fruit, Daddy?”

“You may. Remember I told you I’d cut up some and placed it in the fridge.”

“Sorry, I forgot.”

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