Page 1 of A Little Spilled Milk

1

VINNIE

Happy Hour. Dance Dome. 8 p.m.

I stared down at my phone screen. My bestie, Joel, had been bugging my ass to come and “have fun” for a few weeks now. I felt bad, but the reality was I didn’t see the fun in going out, getting wasted, and blowing all of my money on alcohol and overpriced french fries in a loud room full of his work friends. Maybe that made me a shit friend, but sucking it up once every month or so was all I could muster.

There had been a time when Joel didn’t enjoy that kind of “fun” either. Ever since he started working at his new agency and hanging around what he considers “the cool kids,” he’d been all about clubbing and bar hopping.

For a split second, I thought about going. It would make him happy, and I could suck it up for the night. But today of all days, I really didn’t have the money.

Can’t. Sorry. No $$$$$I shot back and turned on my ignition, heading to the reason why I didn’t have any money.

My phone binged and binged and binged with one notification after another as I drove. I ignored them. Driving and texting was asking for an accident, and he could wait. I already knew what they were going to say.

Come on, it’s once. It’s once. It’s not a big deal. You never want to have any fun.

OrIt’s not that expensive.

I was surprised when I pulled into the parking lot of my destination and saw his message:

You worked overtime six times in the past two weeks. You have the money. Just tell the truth—you don’t want to come.

I sucked it up and called him. I didn’t want him to feel bad, and it was better to tell him the truth, even the part that was embarrassing. He was going to tell me it was a waste of money to buy milk from one of the Lactin Brotherhood and that I should just warm cow’s milk up on the stove to save money. I just knew it. But I’d rather have him explaining all the reasons why I was being foolish than having hurt feelings.

This was Joel. He’d forgive me for being a shit friend, and I’d try to rally and go with him and his friends next time.

“Does this mean you’re coming?” He didn’t bother with hellos.

“No. Seriously, I can’t. And before you tell me all the reasons why I should—I know, I’m a craptastic friend, and I should come out with you once in a while.” Goodness knew he’d played with me when he wasn’t in the mood more than a time or two. “But Joel, the cover charge tonight, and the soda alone is like sixbucks now. The fries last time were eight dollars. That’s not even gettingfoodfood.”

He started to cut me off, and I told him firmly, “I really don’t have any money.”

“That’s the part I don’t understand. How do you not have money?” From his perspective, I got it. My house was small and bought on foreclosure, my job wasn’t great but had overtime opportunities galore, and aside from buying a manga or two each week, I wasn’t bad with my money. From the outside I should have had plenty of spending cash.

“I—oh, because—fine.” Why was this so hard? Joel had seen me in diapers. This was nothing compared to that. “I’ll tell you. I’m picking up a month’s supply of milk, and it’s depleting my savings.”

“Oh, sorry,” and just like that his tone changed. “I thought it was your manga addiction.”

“My manga is not an addiction. Buying your favorite series when they come out is normal.”

“It’s normal when you don’t have twenty favorite series.” It was eleven. “Seriously, I won’t bug you. I know that’s important to you. I just thought maybe… I don’t know… that you were mad at me or something.”

“I’m not. Promise. And if I ever am, you’ll be the first to know. Promise.”

Joel was one of the only people who knew I was Little. He played with me sometimes, and he liked that, but he wasn’t truly a Little. He didn’t want a Daddy. He just liked hanging out with other Littles from time to time.

No part of him understood why I liked milk and why I preferred human milk over what we bought at the store, but he respected it. And I felt guilty for not just telling him that was the main reason for being antisocial from the beginning.

“I’d offer to cover you, but you’d decline.”

“Yeah, I would. But seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ll come next time, promise. Even though it’s loud, overpriced, and you know some of your work friends are kind of handsy.” I really didn’t like his work friends. And I was sure they were nice enough in other settings, but when they went out, they drank far too much.

“You mean Mark?”

“Yeah, I mean Mark.” When Mark drank, he got affectionate and didn’t care who the object of that was.

“He pulled that with Lila the other day and got fired.” That was news.

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