Page 46 of Soaring and Steadfast

“O’course, sugar…”

He happened to be looking at Lila as she flinched slightly, glanced at him, and then looked away.

“Talk to me,” he urged softly. “Lay all these hypothetical situations on me because waiting for you to speak or talk to me is making me nervous.”

He reached across the table to touch her hand – and she withdrew it.Oh gosh…he swallowed, feeling his stomach plummet.

“Have you ever been angry?” Lila asked in a hushed voice, and he hesitated. That was not the question he expected.

“Sure,” he replied curiously. “I’m a normal guy and I get frustrated just like anyone else and…” he paused as he realized what this was. She was taking his temperature because she was scared to get hurt again and his heart was breaking as he suddenly understood. He cleared his throat and then clasped his hands under the table, speaking softly and clearly. “When I get mad, I usually try to distance myself from whatever it is. A lot of times I will take a nap, read a book, go swimming, or occasionally I’ll go run laps but usually that is only in the wintertime because I don’t want heatstroke.”

And she nodded, her throat working silently.

“Next question?” he prompted quietly, waiting.

“What do you like to do in the evenings when you are off work?”

“Well, I don’t have much of a home right now because it’s just my rack, so I read a lot. Sometimes, I’ll go watch television with the guys, but it’s hard to follow because they tend to comment on different things, and usually, it’s over the dialogue. That frustrates me. I like listening and seeing the deeper side of some interactions on a suspense show, and it makes it hard to follow… but if I had a place – I would think that I’d like to sit on the couch and watch television with someone that I could discuss it with.”

“Do you expect to have shared checking accounts?”

“It’s whatever you would prefer,” he answered honestly, watching her. “I don’t want to control your life – I would just like to share it.”

“Let’s say that I get a flat tire or wreck the car…”

“Are you okay in this scenario?” he asked quickly and saw her eyes meet his as her lips trembled in a faint, scared smile. “I don’t care what happens to the car so long as you are okay, Lila. The car is replaceable, and you are not.”

“Thank you,” she whispered softly, and he decided to bite the bullet.

“Now,” he began, his heart hammering in his chest as he held her gaze. “Do you want to ask me how I’ll react if you forget to plug in the Crock Pot one day and you are pregnant with my child?”

That sentence was directed at her past and had to be addressed because he knew she was still fighting that silent battle inside. He saw it in her eyes, in the way she froze, that tortured gaze as she stared at him with unshed tears, waiting and holding her breath.

“I’d say, ‘Get your purse, sweetheart, we’re going on a date’,” he whispered knowingly, his own eyes burning with emotion for the silent battles she fought. “Then I’d want to go somewhere where we can eat in the car, where I can make a foolof myself by laying my head in your lap and humming off-key music to your belly, where our baby would be.”

“Stop,” she whispered tearfully, reaching for a napkin.

“I’m serious,” he replied and glanced around, needing to make her laugh once more because it filled his soul with such happiness. He wanted to make this woman smile forever and knew he had been led here, led to her, living for these moments, and marveled at the way the Lord worked.

He rose to his feet, circled the table, knelt before her as he moved her chair slightly, and crooned ‘Fly Me To The Moon’to her stomach openly – and closed his eyes at the feel of her hand touching the back of his head lovingly. He looked up a moment later, seeing her tear-streaked face, and he knew he’d won her over.

“I’m practicing,” he promised softly. “Doing my prep work for the future…”

“I see that,” she breathed tenderly, cupping his cheek as she stroked her thumb across his skin, staring at him.

“I love you,” he breathed openly. “Marry me and give me a chance to make your heart whole. You don’t have to answer now, but when you get home to Louisville, I want you to look around, think of me, and make a list of pros and cons for each location. If you want to be in Louisville, I will look at leaving the Navy and see how long we must wait to be together…”

She drew in her breath audibly, looking stunned.

“I would do anything to make you smile,” he admitted. “If you would prefer to stay there – then I will come to you. It would be easier for you to move here because I have my job and benefits, but we can do whatever you need so long as we at least give it a try.”

“Sir?” the waitress said, interrupting them as she returned to take their order. “Are you ready, or should I come back?”

“I’m ready whenever my lady is,” he said quietly, rising to his feet and returning to his seat, hoping his meaning was clear to Lila.

He was ready – whenever she was.

That evening, when Louis walked Lila back to Trophy and Stephanie’s apartment, he felt the weight of every step, knowing that each one brought him closer to goodbye. The night air was warm, thick with the scent of salt and the distant echo of waves rolling against the shore. The world around them felt quiet as if even the universe was holding its breath, giving them this moment to exist in a space that was entirely their own.

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