Page 13 of Soaring and Steadfast

LILA

What is the most unfaithful animal in the world?

Is this a trick question?

Lila burst out laughing at his sense of humor. Her friend, whom she dubbed Pastor, in her phone didn’t realize that she was trying to tell a joke.

A cheetah.

Ohhhhhh – whew.

I thought you were about to bash all mankind because someone had cheated on you. I wasn’t sure how to answer that question and didn’t realize it was a joke.

Are we making jokes now? I love a good joke…

I’m not sure anymore.

You didn’t realize I was telling one, and I guess it doesn’t come across the same way via text.

I could call you.

NO!

Lila felt a burst of panic at that moment because she didn’t want to put a voice or face to her mysterious friend. That would change things. Right now, he was a safe, mysterious old pastor like something on Father Dowling’s mysteries – in fact – she even pictured him in a clerical collar with a bald circle on the top of his head. No, she didn’t want to add or change anything in her mind because what she pictured was safe.

Father-like.

Wow.

That was fast.

No names, no locations – which means no voices, no details.

You know, you already have the one-up on me. You know I’m a guy and a pastor. I have no clue who this is.

Good.

Now, what’s your joke?

Lila waited and waited. It took several minutes of typing for a very short sentence to appear on her phone. It was almost a letdown at how few words there were, but the meaning was there.

What did one friend say to the other?

And she didn’t respond.

She sat there, waiting for some bomb to drop, to shatter her line of communication with the one person who seemed to be available whenever she chose to text. Stephanie was busy with her new husband. Natalie had found someone and was no longer pushing Lila to travel somewhere or party… and this person – her pastor – was the only real person she had to talk to anymore. Making friends was so hard when you couldn’t trust yourself to be a gauge of people, and she didn’t trust herself.

I will always be here for you. Nothing will ever change that.

Lila’s trembling hand drifted up to cover her mouth as tears made her vision blur as she stared at the screen. It was probably the nicest, sweetest thing anyone had said to her in a long time. A tear splashed on her cell phone screen as she slowly typed.

I’m so glad we are friends.

Me, too.

A week later, Lila curled into the corner of the couch, cradling a heating pad against her aching stomach. The warmth dulled the sharp cramps twisting through her, but it didn’t reach the rest of her—the part of her that felt hollow, tired and empty.

She dipped a pretzel stick into peanut butter, staring at the screen of her phone. The conversation was always easy so far, light. A welcome distraction on a daily basis. They talked about everything and anything – and it was nice. And yet, there was something beneath it—something unspoken but felt.

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