Page 22 of Her Sinful Duke

“You know I don’t believe in fate,” James frowned.

“Ah, but my boy, fate believes in you,” Grandfather pointed out. “And fate knows it takes patience, understanding, and a good deal of compromise. But most importantly, a good marriage takes love… deep, unwavering love that stands the test of time.”

James sighed. “I don’t know, Grandfather. None of this started in love.”

“But it can end in love,” the man spoke wisely. “Do not close yourself off to that possibility.”

James wondered if he even remembered how to love someone. The concept was as foreign to him as the African continent. He knew little of it but not enough. And now, he had a sweet, young lady under his roof who knew what her purpose was there. It all resembled a business transaction; it was an arranged marriage. How could love ever come from something like that?

“I’m not, Grandfather,” he said tenderly. “I just… I don’t want to get my hopes up. I need to be rational, like I’ve been all my life. I do not trust anyone but you because no one knows me. They don’t know the depth of sorrow that looms inside of me, and they can never understand what happened to us that night.”

His grandfather looked at him sorrowfully. “I should have been there, James. I… I am so sorry.”

“No, no, Grandfather,” James shook his head hastily. “It wasn’t your fault. It took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t my fault either. It washis.”

James felt his teeth grit against each other. His entire body tensed at the memory of his father. He refused to allow that man to occupy a single thought in his mind or a single emotion in his heart, even if it was hatred. The man deserved to be forgotten, completely erased from the memory of those who knew him.

“You know that the best revenge is a life well lived, my boy,” his grandfather said lovingly, getting up and placing his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

That much was true, but James feared that he didn’t deserve to live a good life. He kept blaming himself for being the only one to survive that fateful night. A million questions swarmed inside his mind even now. Why him? Why was he the only one to survive? Why couldn’t it have been his mother, his sister? They were equally deserving of survival. He would have gladly given his life for theirs, but that was impossible. He was wracked by guilt which was preventing him from living the sort of life his grandfather thought he deserved.

James got up, nodding. “Well, I’d better get on with my work, Grandfather. I have some correspondence to take care of.”

“Of course,” his grandfather replied although both men knew what the real reason for cutting their conversation short was. They had spoken about this so many times before, but it never became any easier. James feared it would be like that for the rest of his life, and he had simply come to terms with it.

“I’ll be in my study if you need me,” James said, lingering for a moment in the doorway then he left the parlor and headed to his study.

That was the only place where he could be alone with his thoughts, and now, they troubled him even more than usual.

CHAPTER12

“Adeline, I am so glad you are here!”

Penelope embraced her sister warmly as the two met in the parlor. She couldn’t even imagine what sense of peace and comfort Adeline’s presence would bring.

“Me, too, Penelope,” Adeline gushed, her voice a soothing melody that filled the room with warmth. She looked around in awe. “Oh, what a beautiful parlor. I just love those delicate lace curtains! There is such an atmosphere of quiet elegance.”

“Thank you,” Penelope replied. “This place is truly beautiful, I have to admit.”

“You are so fortunate,” Adeline sighed.

Penelope wondered if that was truly the case. However, she didn’t want to delve more deeply into any philosophical topics. She simply wished to be with her sister and listen to everything she had to tell her.

“How is everyone at home?” Penelope inquired as she walked to a rope in the corner and rang it.

“Oh, they are all right,” Adeline said somewhat gravely.

A moment later, a knock on the door interrupted them, and Adeline waited until Penelope gave a servant girl instruction to bring them some tea and scones. She wondered if scones with blueberry jam were still her sister’s favorite. Penelope remembered that Adeline loved them as a child, but people changed, and so did their tastes.

When they were left alone once again, Adeline continued, “Father was actually reluctant to allow me to come and see you.” She looked down at her lap, cracking her fingers nervously.

Penelope raised an eyebrow. “Reluctant? But… why?”

Adeline hesitated for a moment. “He said that I might be a distraction for you.”

“A distraction?” Penelope echoed, not understanding. “Why on earth would he say something like that?”

Adeline shrugged helplessly. “He said that you are a married woman now, and you should be focused on your new duties as a wife to a duke and not wasting time with women talk.”

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