As dinner ended, Vivian suggested moving into the drawing room for a drink, and everyone rose, chatting and laughing as they moved to the adjoining room. The low firelight in the drawing room emitted a cozy and comforting warmth as they all settled into their chosen seats.
Frederick found himself beside Gemma, their proximity both a relief and a source of silent torment.
Vivian leaned forward, smiling at them both.
“Now, Gemma,” she began, “I hope you are making the most of this rare freedom, indulging in as many experiences as you can. Soon enough, you will have to make plans and decide what you want for yourself.”
Frederick’s focus sharpened on Gemma as she responded, her voice carrying an undercurrent of determination. “That is precisely what I intend, Your Grace. I cannot imagine settling for less than a life that I shape myself. I will not let anyone decide that for me.”
Frederick was filled with a quiet sense of pride and respect for her fortitude.
He knew that her independence meant everything to her, that the time she spent here, the choices she made now, all mattered immensely. It only deepened his desire to ensure she was truly free in her decisions and unburdened by the shadows of her past.
Andrew, who had been listening with a smile, leaned back. “Well, Miss Bradford,” he said with a charming grin, “it seems you are one of the few who truly understands the luxury of choice. Many find it quite difficult to comprehend.”
She smiled in response, her gaze lingering on Frederick briefly. “I am just determined to make up for lost time. After all, none of us knows what tomorrow brings.”
The words struck Frederick more sharply than he anticipated. She was right; they didn’t know what the future held, and the thought of her fading from his life, and drifting away as the seasons changed, unsettled him deeply.
When the evening finally wound to a close, Frederick slowly made his farewells. Gemma seemed equally hesitant to say goodbye, but there was no way around it.
She would remain safe under his grandmother’s roof, while he and Andrew returned to his estate.
It was with a reluctant heart that he bid her goodnight.
Once they were in the carriage, Andrew glanced at Frederick with a knowing expression.
“You are far more attached to her than you would like to admit,” he observed.
Frederick exhaled a long, steady sigh, his gaze fixed on the road. “It is not that simple.”
“Is it not?” Andrew challenged, a glint of humor and disagreement in his eyes. “There is a difference between keeping your distance and pretending you do not care.”
Frederick remained silent, absorbing the truth of Andrew’s words. Andrew continued, his tone more thoughtful. “She is…remarkable, Frederick. I can see it, and so can everyone else who spends even a moment in her company. But it is more than that. She does not yet see herself the way we do.”
Frederick nodded, his voice low. “That is why I have taken it upon myself to contact her mother to see if there might be some closure, some answers for her. I have not told her and I do notintend to. If she does not wish to pursue it, so be it, but I…I believe she deserves to have the opportunity.”
Andrew considered this, then nodded approvingly. “You are giving her the chance to overcome the hurt from which she has been running. That is far more than anyone else has done for her.”
“It is the least I can do,” Frederick murmured, his gaze dark. “If she is ever to move forward, she must confront the past that is keeping her shackled. I shall search for the widow of the late Earl of Carrington. Surely I’ll be able to locate her, even if she has remarried.”
“Gemma is the daughter of the late Earl of Carrington?”
“Yes.”
“Well then,” Andrew clasped a hand on his shoulder. “You are doing right by her, old friend. But do not lose sight of what is best for you, either. You are more alike than you realize.”
Frederick didn’t answer, but his resolve grew stronger. He would keep the arrangement with her mother to himself until he was certain Gemma was ready.
There was something else there, too, a need to protect her, to offer her a foundation that no one else had.
When he returned to Blackridge that evening, the shadowed halls felt empty without her, and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss.
For all their insistence that this was temporary, he feared that when the time came for her to move on, he would struggle to let her go.
CHAPTER 28
As the carriage rumbled along the path to Blackridge, Gemma gazed out of the window, feeling a quiet thrill building within her.