Page 53 of A Sinful Virgin for the Duke

She thought wistfully of her father and of all the years she had spent locked away in the convent being denied the freedom for which she so desperately longed.

Vivian reached out, patting Gemma’s hand gently. “It is never too late to start, my dear. You have such spirit, such fire. I saw that the moment I met you.”

Gemma looked down at the Dowager. A warm, peaceful happiness spread through her chest as she digested Vivian’s words.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” she replied softly. “That means more than I can say, and more than you know.”

Vivian simply smiled and returned her attention to the garden. “There is nothing wrong with embracing what you feel, Gemma. Sometimes we hold back for fear of what others may think, or for fear of being hurt. But life is not meant to besafe. It is meant to belived.”

Her words hung in the air, carrying a weight of importance that Gemma could feel settling within her. She glanced at the Dowager, wondering if the older woman knew of the emotions that had recently stirred within her, or if this was simply the wisdom of a lifetime, shared in passing.

With a small sigh, Vivian straightened and brushed off her hands. “Now then, shall we gather these and head back? I am sure you need some time to prepare for our guest,” she said with a knowing smile.

Gemma felt her cheeks warm but managed to nod. “Yes, that would be lovely.”

As they gathered the herbs and vegetables, Gemma found her thoughts turning once more to Frederick. The anticipation of seeing him again grew with every step she took and her thoughts jumped around excitedly in her head at the prospect.

She wasn’t sure what would happen when she saw him, but one thing was certain. After her conversation with the Dowager, she was no longer willing to let fear dictate her choices.

With a small, determined smile, she followed Vivian back to the house, feeling the tendrils of excitement taking root in her heart.

Tomorrow, when Frederick arrived, she would be ready.

Gemma carefully chose her clothing that morning, opting for something simple. A high-necked, pale linen dress with a small sash tied at the waist. The look was both sweet and practical, and she told herself that she had chosen it for comfort.

In truth, she wasn’t ready to show how eager she was to see Frederick again, and how his presence seemed to churn up something deep within her.

She took a breath, trying to still the fluttering in her chest, and joined Vivian for breakfast, determined to keep her thoughts collected.

“Good morning, Gemma.” The Dowager greeted her with a warm smile as she sat down. “You look quite refreshed. I imagine you are eager to get to work with me on the estate today.”

Gemma smiled, grateful for Vivian’s ever-steady presence. “Yes, I would love to be of whatever assistance I can offer. Despite my appearance, I am no stranger to demanding work.”

“Indeed?” Vivian asked, arching a brow with interest.

“Oh yes,” Gemma replied with a laugh. “I do not know how it might help here, but I also know how to care for sheep, geese and chickens, for a start.”

“Now that, my dear, I would never have guessed!” Vivian said, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she sipped her tea.

“Well, it is true,” Gemma continued, smiling at the memory. “Whenever I misbehaved at the abbey—and that was often—I was sent to help the farm hands. I mucked out the stalls, herded flocks, even tried my hand at milking cows once.” She wrinkled her nose. “That one… was not exactly a success.”

Vivian let out a soft chuckle. “Sounds like quite the punishment for a lady of rank! But clearly, you learned more than they had intended.”

“I did,” Gemma replied with a faint note of pride. “I suppose they meant to make me feel ashamed about having to do the work, but instead I learned the importance of it. Besides, I never had anyone else to do things for me, and I found I did not mind in the slightest.” She smiled, glancing at Vivian with a hint of mischief. “I could even help you with the sheep if you needed.”

Vivian laughed heartily and it rang across the room. “Oh, Gemma, I think I would pay good money to see that! Frederick would be positively scandalized if he saw you trying to wrangle sheep on my estate.”

Gemma’s smile faltered for just a moment as she thought about Frederick’s probable reaction. “Yes… I have a feeling he might not see it in quite the same light.”

Vivian waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, nonsense. He might seem gruff, but do not let his disposition fool you. He knows the value of challenging work.” She gave her a knowing look, one that made Gemma feel slightly exposed, as if Vivian could read her every thought.

“Still, I wonder if he would see it as fitting for a lady,” Gemma murmured, but Vivian only chuckled, clearly unfazed.

“You may be surprised, dear. Frederick is astute; he recognizes quality when he sees it.” Vivian said with a wink, her words layered with a subtle hint of encouragement. “Besides, any man who cannot appreciate a practical woman with real skills is simply not worth worrying over.”

Gemma let the warmth of Vivian’s words settle in, feeling a sense of acceptance that she had not experienced for many long years. The quiet understanding that passed between them soothed her nerves, and she found herself relaxing, her laughter blending with Vivian’s as they spoke.

When breakfast had concluded, the Dowager suggested they take a stroll in the garden. Gemma agreed gladly, and they set off along the path leading to the rose garden, the morning air fresh and slightly crisp, promising the coming warmth of the afternoon.

---