Page 39 of One Pucking Chance

I do.

I want it so badly my body quakes with need.

It takes every bit of willpower I possess during a sliver of clarity to stop it. I shove my hands against his chest and push myself off the sofa and away from his touch. “No!”

My body hits the floor, knocking the lust from me. I scramble to my feet and hurry to zip up and fasten my jeans.

Jaden stands from the sofa, his face confused and his stance shaky as he no doubt tries to take in the scene before him through a haze of desire. “Anna, I’m sorry… I thought you wanted…”

I hold up my hand, halting his explanation. “No, I did, but we can’t.”

He drags the palms of his hands down his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

I blow out a breath. “No. Not at all. You were fine, and for a moment, I thought maybe… but we can’t go there. It will complicate everything.”

“Complicate everything, how?”

I move my hand between us. “This isn’t real, Jaden. We aren’t together. All that”—I motion toward the sofa—“will confuse things.”

He rubs the nape of his neck. “It doesn’t have to. I’m fully aware of our arrangement. I know this isn’t real, but we can have fun.”

“It’s just that I know I don’t want more, and I’m afraid if we gothere, feelings will be involved, and people will get hurt. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He releases a dry laugh. “I’m not naive enough to think that sex equals love. In fact, I’ve had a lot of sex in my life, and it has never led to love. It can just be fun.”

I throw my hands up. “I’m not the just-for-fun type of girl, Jaden. I’m sorry. Boundaries are essential for me. I have plans for my career, and right now, that is all that matters. Sex is a distraction, and it’s messy. I can’t control the feelings that result from it, and I don’t want to add any more to my plate.”

He shrugs. “Okay. Fine. I get it.”

I nod.

“I should probably get you back.” He moves toward the foyer.

I agree and follow him out the door.

On the way back to the hotel, he makes an effort to give me a smile every couple of minutes. I know him well enough to know that they’re not genuine, but I appreciate him making an effort to show me that we’re all good.

Only, I don’t feel good about the way the night ended. It was perfect until I ruined it. I know I did what I had to do by stopping it. I’ve gone over everything in my mind, and I’m certain a casual fling with Jaden isn’t in either of our best interests.

The only thing I can’t figure out is why I feel so awful. If I made the right call, why does my heart ache as if I didn’t?

CHAPTER

SIXTEEN

JADEN

“Mom, it’s me,” I call out as I enter my mother’s place for my monthly proof-of-life visit. Despite living a short drive away from my mother, I rarely see her.

The home, a gift from me, is much smaller than I wanted for her. It’s a three-bedroom bungalow in a nice neighborhood in the city of Ann Arbor. While I preferred to buy my mother something more grand, it was a struggle to get her to accept this one. She complains that it’s too much house for one person.

I purchased most things my mom owns, from her car to the house and everything in it. I wanted to thank her for all the sacrifices she made when I was growing up. She always had two jobs and worked hard. I was never without, and she even made sure to work enough to pay for my passion for hockey, which is not a cheap sport. While I always had what I needed, I had just that—what I needed and nothing more.

My childhood wasn’t filled with vacations, birthday parties, big holiday celebrations, or elaborate presents. The greatest gift my mom could’ve given me was hockey—and she did just that. Now that I’m making good money, my goal is to make her want for nothing, which is why my face falls when I see her in her diner outfit and apron.

“Hey, Jay. I’m just heading out.” She grabs her car keys from the table by the front door.

“Mom, why are you still working at the diner? If you need more money, I can give you more money.”