Page 53 of One Pucking Chance

“Very funny.”

He raises a brow. “So last night. That was…” He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, his brown eyes appearing darker.

I pull in a breath and nod. “Yeah, it was.”

“While you’re taking this time, we should explore that a little more. Don’t you think?”

I lean forward and give him a chaste kiss. “We might be able to work something out.”

“I can’t wait.” He cups my face in his hands and deepens the kiss.

We’ve kissed a lot, and just like all those kisses in front of the paparazzi, this one is deliciously real, too.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-TWO

JADEN

“This doesn’t feel good.” I sigh.

“No, it doesn’t,” Max agrees.

Our newest recruits, Miles and Finn, skate around on the ice as if they were meant to be starting players. I don’t remember a time since joining the team that neither Max nor myself didn’t start the game. There have been a few times over the years when one of us has been on the bench when the game started—one of us was ill, had a back week, or was nursing an injury. It happens. Yet both of us warming the bench? Never.

On the bench to my right, my best friend, the pair of us completely down and out. I have to question our life choices. It’s actually insane that in two weeks’ time, we went from two of the most happy-go-lucky guys on the team to the melancholy duo. Okay, I can’t speak for Max. I think he’s too overwhelmed with his recent events to land on an appropriate emotion for his situation. The one thing we both are is distracted. The other similarity between us is that we’re playing like shit, and it’s not fun. It’s actually downright gut-wrenching watching the new guys playing in our place.

Finn has been the standout player this first period, and if I wasn’t so jealous, I’d be happy for the guy. We’re in Boston playing against the team he was transferred from. He deserves to show his former team the talent they traded. If only we all got what we deserved.

It’s been two weeks since I poured my heart out to Anna. Two weeks since I begged her to give us a chance. Two weeks since she said she loved me. And in that time, I’ve received all of two texts, both telling me she was busy. The number I wear on my chest has always been lucky for me, but right about now, it’s feeling like a bad omen.

I understand that Anna needs time, but so much so that we can’t have a simple text exchange? I’ve ghosted many people in my day, but I’m regretting those actions now that I know what it feels like to be ghosted. Maybe this is my penance for being a crappy human.

Unlike Max, I haven’t missed practice since the morning Anna left. But it’s clear that though I was physically present, my mind was elsewhere. I’ve always said that the greatest attribute an athlete can have is their mind. I’ve seen it time and time again. A player can have all the skill in the world, but if they’re weak-minded—don’t believe in themselves, get nervous, or second-guess their ability—they won’t go far. I was born with confidence to spare. From the moment I touched the ice at a young age, I knew I’d be great. I believed in myself so much that the universe could only get in line with my plan. This situation with Anna has messed with my mind more than anything ever has. I can’t seem to find clarity.

It all feels impossible. Regardless of what happens in my love life, I can’t let it derail everything I’ve ever worked for. I’m stronger than this. I hate that loving Anna makes me feel so weak.

Boston’s left forward makes it past Miles and slaps the puck toward our goal. Gunner lunges for the puck, but it slips in beneath his leg. The home crowd roars in celebration as their team ties up the score.

“Lewis,” Coach Albright barks out my name. “You think you can get your head out of your ass and play?”

I stand. “Yes, Coach. I’m good.”

Eddy hands me my stick, and relief consumes me. As much as I want Anna, I can’t lose this. I pull in a deep breath and block out everything but the game.

Right now, this is all that matters. It has to be.

The drinks flow as we celebrate our win over Boston. Sitting out for the majority of the first period was the kick in the ass I needed to get my head on straight. From the moment I stepped on that ice, I was on fire, and it felt good. Sorrow is a choice. My mind is one of my best attributes, and I’ve always been able to block out the noise to concentrate on what’s important. I simply had to remember that.

Somewhere around my seventh beer, I realized that Anna’s avoidance might’ve opened some buried mommy issues that I didn’t know I had. While my mom has done so much for me, she was never present—emotionally or physically. The truth is, she still isn’t. I never knew it affected me, probably because my brain buried the hurt to make way for my successes. This past month of me fighting for Anna’s attention and love paralleled my childhood in a lot of ways. If I know anything, it’s that I can’t force anyone to do anything or be someone who they’re not. If I’m not enough for Anna, that’s it. I have to accept it. I lost my way when I begged her to love me. It’s embarrassing really. I need to chalk it up to what it was—a fun month with a hot movie star. I can’t keep hoping for something it wasn’t—a magical love connection.

I am Jaden fucking Lewis, starting defenseman on the reigning Stanley Cup–winning team, The Cranes. And I’m single.

That is good enough for me.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-THREE

---