Page 93 of Finding London

“Is it bad that you freaking out like that made me a little happy?” he asks.

I lean back, so I can see his face. “Why?” My lips turn up into a grin.

“It makes me feel better about leaving you for a year. It gives me some hope that you will wait,” he says simply.

“And me telling you that I will doesn’t?”

He gives me a crooked smile. “You aren’t the only one whose mind likes to think in worst-case scenarios.”

“Who knew we had so many flaws? How can we even stand each other?”

Loïc throws his head back in laughter. “I think you’ll find that more people are screwed up than you think. The trick is finding the person whose flaws are compatible with your own.”

I remember something he said to me months ago. “So, we can be fucked up together?”

“Perfectly fucked up together,” he says before kissing my forehead.

“Until we’re just together?”

“Exactly. Look at that; you listened to me,” he says with mocked shock.

“I remember everything you’ve ever told me. The question is, whether I choose to believe you or not.”

“And what’s the verdict?”

“I believe you,” I admit. “Next time my heart tries to be all dramatic, I will have my brain remind it of your words.”

“Sounds like a plan. So, are we good?”

I nod. “We’re good. What do you want to do today?”

“It’s such a nice day. I thought we could go on a hike and maybe go apple-picking.”

I sigh.

“What?” Loïc laughs.

“I know I’m being a downer and all, but I was promised two months with you, and though I’m truly happy for you and Sarah, I feel like I was robbed of a week. The one month and three weeks we have left need to be more epic than, ‘Let’s go walk around the wilderness.’” I use my fingers to make quotations in the air while my voice goes low in a horrible impression of a dumb Loïc.

My joke has the desired effect as Loïc laughs. It’s full-on and carefree—my favorite.

“Oh, it’s going to be epic, little spoiled one. We have the entire day. Don’t worry. We’ll end it in bed where the magic happens.” He playfully waggles his eyebrows, eliciting laughter from me.

“Or we could skip the nature part and just go there now.” I pout my lips.

“Though I still find that pout extremely adorable for some reason, I’m thinking that, eventually, it’s going to be time for you to let it go. And we can’t spend our entire lives in bed, London.”

“That’s not what you said two weeks ago.”

“Yeah, I’m fickle about my convictions in that way,” he teases. “It’s a flaw.”

“I hate you.” I giggle.

He wraps an arm around my middle, pulling me against his body. His hand cradles my jaw. “And I love you,” he says before he drops his full lips onto mine. His lips are soft and full against mine, and his touch is warm.

Instantly, I’m lost in him, and the truth is, I go in gladly with my eyes closed and my heart open, leaving me exposed.

Love makes me weak—it’s true—but it’s in that fragility where I will find my true strength.

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