Page 86 of Finding London

My body goes stiff.

She notices and rubs my arm. “No one hurt me…again. No one touched me—well, at least no one who I hadn’t asked to.” She frowns. “You know how I was. I was really messed up for a long time, Loïc. I’m sorry. I wish I could have been stronger. But I’m finally okay. I’ve been to more therapy sessions than I can count, and I go to meetings every week. I’ve been clean for two years.”

“How’d you find me? Why didn’t you look sooner?” I question.

“I did. I’ve looked for you on and off the entire time. You do realize that you have zero social media accounts. You’re, like, impossible to find. I didn’t look all the time because it would drive me mad, but every month or so, I would do an Internet search with your name. I just did one, and I found a military article that mentioned you and David Cooper. So, I looked up David and stalked his Facebook. He’d posted a picture with you. In his post, it showed the city, so I came here. When I got here this morning, I messaged him and told him who I was and that I needed to see you. When he told me that you thought I was dead, I figured it would be best to meet you here versus having him tell you over the phone. I didn’t want you freaking out and driving.”

I take in her words. “This is just so insane.”

“I know,” she agrees.

“I thought I’d lost you,” I say sadly.

“I know. I’m so sorry. You look so good though, Loïc. You look happy, and your girlfriend seems nice.”

“She is. She’s amazing.” I huff out a humorless chuckle. “London’s actually my first girlfriend…ever. She’s kind of a recent development. I wasn’t good for a long time. After I lost you, I shut down completely. I couldn’t imagine losing anyone else. So, I never got close to anyone again—besides Cooper because he’s persistent like that.” I smile.

“He seems great.” She smiles.

“He is.”

“So, what happened to you after you left the hospital?” she asks.

“I went back to the motel room and packed up my stuff. Then, I left. I couldn’t stand to be there without you. I aimlessly traveled around for a couple of months before turning myself into the system, so I could get an ID. At that point, I was just shy of eighteen, so I didn’t have to go to a home or anything. I got my GED, joined the Army, and met Cooper. That’s about all. I lived a pretty emotionally closed-off life until this summer when I met London.”

“What’s up with the name? You think it’s a sign?”

I know what she means. Some days, I think it might be—well, at least I would if I believed in that sort of thing.

During the time I spent with Sarah, I turned my dad’s stories of London into a fantasy for the both of us. I told her story after story until, eventually, we both dreamed of making it to London where we could be happy and free.

“I don’t know. Her name definitely caught my attention, that’s for sure.”

“Have you been to England? Did you check on your grandparents, let them know how you were?” she asks eagerly.

I shake my head. “I couldn’t.”

Her face drops, sadness lining her features. “Why?”

“They left me. They didn’t deserve to know that I was okay.” I use the last word in the loosest term of the word.

“But they’re family, your only family.”

“Family doesn’t abandon a child who’s lost everything, Sarah. They’re not my family anymore. I have Cooper and Maggie, and now, I have you again. And maybe, if I don’t scare London away, I’ll get to keep her in that category, too.”

She laughs. “Why do you say that?”

“Because, since I lost you, I’ve kind of turned into somewhat of a jackass. I’m not what you would call a relationship kind of guy.”

“Well, judging by the way she looks at you, I’d say you have her fooled. I’m sure you’re doing just fine.”

“I’m trying. It’s been a bit of a train wreck, but she continues to like me. So, I guess we’ll see.” I shrug.

She runs her hand along my cheek. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“What?”

“You’re impossible not to love, Loïc.” Her expression is so sincere, and her words make me uncomfortable.

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