Page 54 of Finding London

Sure, especially out on deployment, there are surprises, unexpected events. Even in those though, we have protocol.

With London, there’s nothing but gray. There is no black and white when it comes to women. Relationships are a state of perpetually changing expectations. I’m a barely functioning man when I know what to expect. I have issues for days, and that’s not including my London dilemma.

“Your shooting’s on point, man,” Cooper says beside me as the two of us stare at the targets.

“You, too.”

Cooper’s target of nothing but bull’s-eye shots matches my own.

I bend one knee to the ground and pack up my weapon. Cooper does the same.

“Do you have the brief ready for this afternoon?” Cooper asks, referring to the group I’m leading after lunch.

“Yeah, there really wasn’t a lot to prepare. Captain handed it to me in PowerPoint form.”

“Really? It’s one of those?”

I can hear the disappointment in Cooper’s voice. I can’t help but chuckle. As exciting as being in the Special Forces sounds, it’s not all adrenaline rushes from high-action situations. Most of the days when we aren’t on deployment consist of working out, shooting, lifting, and learning about something field-related. For me, it also includes presenting what I learned about to others.

“It’s not that bad, I promise. Plus, I have lots of stories to liven this one up.”

“Oh, good. The brief that Miller gave last week about the importance of proper reporting made me want to claw my eyes out.”

I laugh. “Wasn’t the hard part listening to it? Shouldn’t you have wanted to complete some grotesque task on your ears?”

“Yeah, but the way he pressed his lips together, squinted his eyes, and nodded after every bullet point—like each little piece of information was so groundbreaking—made me want to hurl a stapler at his head. I couldn’t stand looking at his smug face for an hour straight.”

“You know he looks like that all the time. It doesn’t matter if he’s talking about the chick he hooked up with over the weekend or his mom’s chicken potpie recipe; he has that douche-bag expression on his face. I don’t think he can help it.”

Cooper scoffs, “Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t as annoying as fuck.”

“True,” I agree as the two of us pick up our duffel bags of supplies.

We start walking back to base.

“Maggie and I are going to see that new spy movie tonight. Do you wanna come?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You should invite London,” he says, attempting to sound casual.

I can hear the optimism in his voice.

“Nah, that’s okay. I don’t think I’m going to see her anymore.”

“Dude,” Cooper sighs beside me.

“Dude, what? It didn’t work out. End of story. Not a big deal.”

“I don’t believe that. You like her, Berkeley. I know you do. You owe it to yourself to give it a shot.”

“I did. It didn’t work.”

“Then, give it another one.”

“Hold up. Aren’t you the one who said I needed time?”

Cooper waves his hand in the air in dismissal. “Maggie’s right. You’ve had plenty of time. London’s the first girl you’ve been remotely into, and you should take a chance. You don’t want to miss out on something great because you’re scared.”

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