Page 34 of Eternally London

“Maybe online? Lots of girls from our sorority have met their husbands online,” Paige says.

“Maybe.” Maggie shrugs. “I’m just not there yet. I will be.”

“Soon?” I ask.

“Soon,” Maggie answers before directing her attention toward Georgia, effectively changing the subject. “So, how long are you back for?”

“Oh, yeah!” I respond, wanting to know the same thing.

“For a while. Dad cut me off.” She frowns.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“He froze my trust fund the second I got back to American soil. He couldn’t do it while I was in China because he wanted me to be safe, and I needed access to money—obviously. But he and Mom have been begging me to come home for a long time. So, then Loïc got ahold of me and asked me to come home for your birthday. And, now that Dad knows I’m safe, he cut me off, so I can’t go back.”

“I’m confused. It’s your trust fund though,” I say.

“I know, but Dad’s on it until we’re thirty. He has it arranged so that he can control it until then, and he’s chosen to freeze my access to it.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I’ve never had any trouble getting money from it.”

“That’s because you’ve never done anything to piss Dad off.” Georgia chuckles. “He has no reason to cut you off.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m really glad he did that,” I admit. “It’s not safe over there. We’ve all been worried sick about you.”

Georgia sighs deeply. “I know, but it makes me happy.”

“Can’t anything here make you happy?” I question.

“What was it that you were doing over there again?” Maggie asks Georgia. “I’m sure London mentioned it, but last time I knew, you were in South America, saving the rainforests…I think?”

“That was a couple of adventures ago.” Georgia laughs. “For the last year, I’ve been in China, helping families escape from North Korea. I didn’t go into North Korea, but the group I’m with monitors the borders between North Korea and China and aids anyone who makes it over the border. We help them find food and shelter and build a different life. So many people try to flee from North Korea and are killed before they reach China. We help the ones who make it.”

“Wow,” Paige says.

“Yeah, it’s horrible. You can’t even imagine the stories I’ve heard from these people—how their girls are treated and abused. They risk everything, including their lives, to escape. There’s no greater joy than helping someone who has nothing. I know I was there to help them, but selfishly, it made me feel really damn good. In a way, I feel so empty here. I don’t know what my purpose is. There, I knew.”

“There are so many people here who need help. You can find ways to make a difference in our country, too, Georgia. Loïc’s the same way. He’s only happy when he feels like he’s making a difference. That’s why he goes into the VA every day—to help fellow soldiers. There has to be some cause here that you can find fulfillment in. Dad’s right. It’s not safe for you to be hovering around the North Korean border. Something beyond horrible could happen.” I reach out beside me and squeeze her hand. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

“I know.” She sighs loudly with an annoyed tilt of her lips. “I’ll figure it out. Enough about me.” She dismissively waves her hand. “So, you told me a while back that you were trying to get pregnant. I’m guessing you’re not, based on your pink devil consumption last night. So, what’s happening with that?”

“We can talk about it later. I’m sure Paige and Maggie are so sick of pregnancy talk.” I press my lips together.

Both Paige and Maggie tell me that it’s fine and that I should tell my sister what’s been going on.

“Well, basically, my uterus is a hot mess. I have something called low ovarian reserve, which means that I don’t have as many eggs as I should, and the ones I do have are like the eggs of an older woman. So, they aren’t all viable. Then, I have low progesterone, which is a hormone crucial to getting pregnant and carrying a baby. Without the right amount of progesterone, even if one of my eggs fertilizes, it won’t be able to implant into my uterine wall, and it will die. So, the doctor has me on all sorts of daily medicines, supplements, and hormones, which make me irritable and depressed. I’ve been stabbed with needles more than I ever thought possible. It’s actually been a complete nightmare. I’m surprised Loïc hasn’t left me yet.”

I finish the summary of my infertility status in a rush, eager to get it out so that we can move to a different topic. It’s astounding—how everything that Loïc and I have experienced this past year can be summed up in a few sentences. The depth of the heartache that this issue has caused is enough to fill a novel.

“Oh, stop. Loïc will never leave you,” Maggie says. “You do remember how Loïc was when you first met? Pre-London Loïc was surly and miserable. The only people who got to see him smile were David and me, and even then, it wasn’t often. Loïc with you on your worst days is happier than he was without you. He’s a different person now, and it’s because of you. I think you underestimate how much he really loves you, London. You don’t ever have to worry about him leaving you.”

I nod. “No, you’re right. I know that. It’s just…it’s been really hard.Reallyhard.”

I tell the girls about the massive amounts of medicines, supplements, and pills that I’ve been doing for the past four months.

“So, if none of that works, then what’s next?” Georgia asks.

“In vitro fertilization, and if that doesn’t work…adoption, I guess,” I answer. “It’s just exhausting, emotionally and physically draining. You know?”

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