Page 82 of Loving London

I sit up as well, pulling the sheet around me, as I listen to his side of the conversation.

“Really? How? Yeah, right. I understand. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I will. Thank you.” Loïc ends the phone call, dropping the cell phone to the bed. He sits motionless, staring at the opposite wall, before he turns to me. “My granddad passed away last night.”

Gasping, I cover my mouth with my hands. My eyes fill with tears as I shake my head. “No.” I cover Loïc’s hand with mine. “How? What happened?”

“That was the nurse, Nancy. She said he died peacefully in his sleep last night. She said there was nothing wrong with him physically; it was simply just his time. I have to figure out what I want them to do with his body and call her back.”

“I’m so sorry, Loïc.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad we got to see him.” His voice drifts off.

“We don’t even know where your Nan is. We should call Esther and ask. Your granddad should be laid to rest with her. They would want that.”

Loïc nods. “Yeah, they would.”

Several minutes of silence pass.

Loss is a delicate thing. It’s hard to know what someone needs, but I think the most important thing is that Loïc knows I’m here for him. So, I wait as Loïc thinks, and I continue rubbing his hand.

“London?” he asks after a bit.

“Yes?”

“I know it sounds silly, but do you think he was waiting for me? Like, waiting for me to come to England before he left?” Loïc looks to me.

I shake my head with a small smile. “I don’t think it sounds silly at all. He was your last living relative. I think, on some level, he was waiting for you. He waited a long time to make sure you were okay. Once he saw that you were, he was free to let go.” My voice cracks with emotion.

“Yeah.” Loïc nods. He pulls me into his side, and we lie back down on the bed. “He was free to let go.”

“Now, they can all be together,” I say in a whisper.

Loïc runs his hand up and down my back. “That’s a good thing.”

“It is.”

“I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“I’m always going to be with you, Loïc. We’re no longer fucked up; we’re just together. Right?”

“We’re just together,” he agrees.

I hear the smile in Loïc’s voice, and I’m sure he’s remembering what I told him so long ago. He kisses my head and pulls me in tighter.

The girl I was when I promised that had no idea of the gravity of those simple words. That girl was still learning what was truly important in life, what loss could do to a person, and what love truly meant.

The past couple of years have been full of ups and downs, incredible highs and devastating lows. As is evident from just the past hour, I know that life is going to continue to hand both Loïc and me joy and sadness.

That’s kind of the nature of the game. Life is about balance, and to truly live it requires one to experience the plethora of emotions it brings.

I realize there will be hard times ahead just as there will be periods of complete bliss. Yet what I know deep down in my soul is that I’ve been given the gift of experiencing it all with Loïc by my side.

We will spend our lives together, experiencing all sorts of firsts, and I’m going to cherish each and every one.

London

“Today is the exact opposite of the wedding of my dreams. It’s better.”

—London Berkeley

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