Page 48 of Loving London

I look down at my half-eaten wrap. “I don’t want to be with anyone else until I can give him my whole heart, and right now, it belongs to someone else.”

Brad lets out a small grunt. “This Loïc dude must be a fucking idiot.”

“He’s not. It’s…I don’t know. He was my first real love. I’m having a hard time with letting him go, I guess.”

“I really hate that douche for messing you up for the rest of us,” Brad huffs out.

I can’t help but smile. “You’d better go. You’ll be late for Elizabeth.”

Brad throws a fifty down on the table and stands. “All right. Sorry to eat and run. Your stories sound great. Can’t wait to see the finished versions.”

“Thanks.”

He starts to leave but stops when he’s next to me. He bends down, and with one hand, he grabs the back of my head and leans in, pulling me into a kiss. It’s short and sweet and completely unexpected.

His lips pull away from mine, but his face remains a breath away. “Anything? Did you feel anything?” he asks.

“Nope,” I whisper.

“Damn,” he sighs. He stands up, releasing my head. “I had to try one more time.” He smiles. “Please don’t come into my office and chew me out tomorrow. I promise I won’t do it again.” He winks.

“I won’t yell at you, and you won’t do it again.” I smile at him, but he knows I’m serious.

“Okay. See you tomorrow, London.”

“Sounds good. Give my best to Elizabeth.” I grin wide.

“Will do,” he says before walking away.

I take a couple of additional bites of my wrap before calling it a night, and I pay the bill. But I’m in no hurry to leave. Kate isn’t home from the office yet, and it’s such a gorgeous night.

I lean back in my chair and watch the people around me, the cars going by, the sun as it descends into the horizon.

Turning toward the restaurant, I catch a glimpse of myself in the storefront window. I barely recognize myself anymore. In my reflection, I see someone with strength, confidence, and happiness. All are a true testament to how far I’ve come. Appearing whole is quite a feat when, inside, I still feel so very broken.

Life goes on, and there is no better place to drive that sentiment home than in LA. Everything is fast-paced here. If I didn’t acclimate, I’d have gotten lost.

And I realize that failing isn’t an option. I need this success.

So, I move on. I adapt. I smile. Most importantly, I work hard.

And I pretend that I don’t scan the faces of everyone I pass in hopes of seeing him.

You’re doing okay, I tell myself.You’re doing really great.

I have a job that I love. I haven’t touched my trust fund in six months. I’m an independent woman, living a life I can be proud of. I’ve met some great new people.

Despite my shattered heart, I’m happy. Truthfully, I don’t know if my heart will ever heal. They say that time heals all wounds, so I’m hopeful.

Goose bumps pebble across my skin.

Sometimes, when I’m thinking of Loïc, I can almost feel him. If I didn’t know better, I would swear that he’s here with me. I suppose, in a way, he is. They say the ones you truly love never really leave you. Though life might be easier if they did.

Loïc

“I never thought I’d see the day when I thought someone’s spit was adorable.”

—Loïc Berkeley

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