Page 37 of Loving London

“Yes! It’s only the best show of all time,” I squeal. “It’s a sitcom from the nineties.”

Kate laughs. “Well, growing up, I wasn’t allowed to watch TV. I watched my first TV show with my college roommate. It wasGrey’s Anatomy. I was pretty traumatized after it though.” She chuckles. “I usually watch documentaries or movies, not a lot of TV.”

“Oh my gosh…this is, like…” I think for a moment. “Amazing! We have to do an entire marathon, all ten seasons. You must experience it from the beginning,” I say, trying not to shout at Kate with excitement.

“It’s that good?” she asks with a smile as she starts to plate our dinner.

“It’s the best show ever, Kate. Seriously. We were meant to be roommates. I can’t believe you’ve lived your life without knowingFriends. This is going to be so much fun.” I clap my hands together. “I’m going to go set up the series premiere.”

I can’t wait to tell Paige this. Not only is shenotgoing to believe it, but she’s also going to be jealous that I get to see it through the eyes of someone who’s watching it for the first time.

For the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely happy. I know this initial giddiness is covering up my deep longing for Loïc—it never goes away, not even for a second—but I’ll take it.

For the next several weeks, I’m going to be so busy with work and then aFriendsmarathon that my heart isn’t going to have time to ache. I might be able to stretch the show out for over a month. Ten seasons is a lot when only watching it after work.

This is the best.

I know it’s silly, and it’s just a Band-Aid for my problems. Yet let’s be real. How many times does a parent put a Band-Aid on a child because they physically need it? Sometimes, yes. But, much of the time, especially with the younger kids, it’s mental. A Band-Aid makes a boo-boo feel better.Friendsis my bandage. When the show’s over, I know I’ll have to rip it off, only to discover that all the hurt and pain are still right where I left them.

But, for now, I’m happy. And, as Rachel walks into that coffee shop in her rain-soaked wedding dress, I’m going to laugh alongside Kate and pretend that I’m healed.

Loïc

“I’m being dragged down by demons that I can’t even pretend to know how to fight.”

—Loïc Berkeley

“Why did Mommy and Daddy choose your name?”

“You named me Loïc because it means warrior, and warriors are strong,” I repeat what they’ve told me many times.

“Not only are they strong, but they’re also very brave, the bravest. No matter what happens in your life, Loïc, you’ll be strong enough and brave enough to conquer it all. You were already more courageous than Daddy when you were one day old. Strength isn’t measured by how many muscles you have or what you are or are not afraid of. Strength comes from within. It comes from your heart. It will give you courage to face things, even when you’re afraid.”

“I’m so afraid,” I answer honestly.

I reach my hand out, and Daddy takes it in his. His is so much bigger than mine.

“Be brave, Loïc.”

“I can’t.” I feel my lip tremble and try hard not to cry.

“You already are.” Daddy leans down and gives me a kiss. “You, my little warrior, have the biggest heart I know, and that makes you the bravest.”

Then, Daddy’s gone. It’s all black and so scary.

“Daddy!” I cry into the darkness.

“Loïc, dear, why the tears?” Nan walks into my room, bringing light with her.

“Nan, Daddy left!” I scream out.

“Oh, love. No, he didn’t. Where did I tell you that magic lives?”

“In here.” I touch a finger to my head. “And in here.” I place my hand over my heart.

She nods, her gentle smile on her face. “That’s right.” Her eyes go wide with happiness, like they always do when she’s telling me something exciting. “Guess where the ones we love live forever?”

She expectantly looks at me as I think about her question.

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