Page 17 of Loving London

When he begged me to let him go, I had to.

Every fiber in my being tells me that it’s the wrong thing to do, but I love and respect Loïc too much to cause him pain.

Apparently, I’m not the one for him, and though I don’t understand it, I have to respect it.

It’s just so hard.

How long will this last?

How long will I have to feel this way? Empty, sad…devastated.

I stare at the blank white page on my laptop as the small vertical line blinks back at me, taunting me, a constant reminder of my failures.

I’m going to lose my job if I miss another deadline, but the words won’t come. I’ve been staring at this screen all day, but all I see is Loïc. And all I feel is heartache.

I’m failing at life.

“Ugh!” I let out a groan of annoyance as I lean my head against the back of the chair and stare up at the ceiling.

“That bad?” Paige questions from my bedroom doorway.

I didn’t hear her come home from work.

“It’s worse,” I sigh.

“Is it worse than your hair? I’m pretty sure, if we wring the grease out of that mop, we could fry up some chicken.”

“Ew, that’s gross, Paige.”

“So is your hair, my love. So is your hair.”

“I know. It’s starting to really itch.” I make a face, scrunching up my nose, to which Paige starts laughing.

“London, please go shower. It’s time.” Paige swipes her hand through the air, gesturing toward my bathroom.

“Fine. I can barely stand my own filth. But you can’t let me go over to Loïc’s tonight. Promise?”

“Promise.” Paige makes a cross over her heart.

Sitting across the booth from Paige at our favorite Mexican restaurant, I’m freshly showered with a mango margarita in my hand, and I feel almost human again. It helps that the margarita glass is larger than my head.

“So, what are we going to do to get you out of this funk?” Paige asks.

“Convince Loïc to take me back,” I answer with a coy voice.

“Besides that.” She playfully rolls her eyes. “It’s been two weeks since he called. I know it hurts. It totally sucks. But you have to move on.”

“I know,” I state as I twirl the straw around in my glass. “I’m trying.”

“Maybe you just need a change of scenery. We should fly to Cali this weekend and hang out with Georgia. Your sister can cheer anyone up.”

Shrugging, I agree, “Yeah, that could be fun.”

“Well, we have to do something. We can’t have you moping around forever. Babe, I know this isn’t what you wanted, but there are two people in a relationship. You have to respect what Loïc wants.”

“Obviously, I know that.” I let out a sigh.

“So, after dinner, we’ll call Georgia and set up a girls’ weekend. It will be a blast,” Paige says with a smile as she raises her hefty margarita glass. “A toast.” She beams.

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