Page 81 of Keeping London (Flawed Heart)

London

“I love him enough to be here when he comes back to me.”

—London Wright

Maggie looks well. I supposewellis a stretch—she looks okay. I haven’t seen her in a month since the funeral. She’s sitting across from me at a local café. She takes a sip of iced tea before smiling weakly.

It’s a little awkward when a friendship that was built because of a common denominator—aka Cooper—attempts to continue after the mutual connection is gone. Yet I really like Maggie, and I want to keep her in my life.

“How are you doing?” I ask.

“I’m good. I mean, you know. I’ll get there.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and my chest aches for her.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. Me, too. It’s just so surreal, you know? Most days, I can’t even believe it’s real. I feel like he’s still deployed, and he’ll come back. But he’s never coming home to me.” Her voice breaks along with my heart.

She absentmindedly stirs her iced tea with her straw as we sit in a heavy silence. I don’t know what to say to make Maggie feel better. There’s probably nothing to say.

I clear my throat. “How’s work?”

“It’s fine. I took a few weeks off, of course. But I’ve been back about two weeks now, and it’s okay. I like keeping busy.”

“Yeah,” I agree.

“What about you? How’s work?” she asks.

“Good. I’ve had some freelance articles printed in larger publications. I still write weekly articles for the Ann Arbor news outlet, but I’m definitely getting out there more, building my résumé.”

“That’s good. Still no news from Loïc?”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t know what else to do. I drove out to their base in Ypsilanti the other day to see if anyone could tell me something. I practically got on my knees and begged, but they said they couldn’t tell me anything. Some excuse about confidentiality or something. I’m still writing him every day, but I haven’t seen him online since…” I start to say Cooper’s death, but I stop myself. “You know.”

“I know you’ll hear from him. Loïc has always done everything on his own time. He’s been through so much. I’m sure he’s just taking longer to process it all. He’ll come around. He loves you. He’ll be back.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wish he would let me help him.”

“Maybe he needs to do this on his own. Everyone grieves differently.”

I nod my head. “I get that. I kind of assumed that the military would let him come home early. I’m surprised that they’re keeping him over there still.”

“It seems weird to us, but that’s the way the military is. Soldiers lose their brothers all the time over there, but they’re still expected to do their job after the loss. Of course, the loss of David is more difficult for Loïc, but if you think about it, to the military, it’s equivalent to the death of any brother.”

“Well, I think it’s stupid,” I huff.

“I agree.” Maggie cracks a smile, and it’s so good to see her smile again. “Oh, I have news about the house. I used some of David’s insurance money, that he left me in his will, to pay off the rest of the mortgage. We didn’t owe much, but now, the house is all paid for. I put the deed in Loïc’s name, and I moved out.”

“What?”

“I just couldn’t live there anymore. Too many memories.” She stops talking and closes her eyes.

I want to reach across the table and hug her, but I don’t know if that will help, so I stay put. It’s so hard to know what to do.

She opens her eyes and lets out a pained breath of air, continuing, “I wanted Loïc to have somewhere to go when he returns. I emailed him and sent a letter, letting him know this, but of course, I haven’t heard anything back.”

“Where are you living now?”

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