Page 57 of Keeping London (Flawed Heart)

I will not succumb to the flames because I know I will be left with nothing but smoldering ashes.

“I’ve gotta go!” I cry, panicked.

I feel his fingers close around my wrist, and I vaguely register his pleading words of apology, but I shake him off me and exit the booth. I spot Georgia and Paige right away. Both of them are standing to the side of the dance floor where I left them earlier, lip-locked with Black Shirt One and Two.

I don’t want to ruin their evening, but I have to get out of here. I jog toward the exit as best I can in my heels and enter a waiting taxi.

On the short drive to the hotel, I text both Paige and Georgia, letting them know that I’m all right but that I headed back to the room early. I caution them to stick together and be careful before telling them to have fun.

Back in the room, I start up my laptop, which I take everywhere with me so that I can connect with Loïc every day in some way or another.

I pray that he’s online. I look to the time. It’s just before twelve thirty LA time, so it’d be almost noon his time.Maybe he has a break after lunch, and he’s on his laptop?

I begin to cry when the little circle next to his name doesn’t pop up green. He’s not online, and there’s something so devastating about that because I need to see his face now more than ever.

My tears fall harder. Bending my face to my hands, I sob. My body shudders with sadness as my tears continue to fall.

As I cry, I try to make sense of the last hour and a half. I feel so incredibly guilty. Yes, I found Brad attractive, but I didn’t want to do anything with him. I truly didn’t. I never want to hurt Loïc, and I can’t think of anything that would hurt him more than me cheating on him.

I didn’t kiss Brad, but he almost kissed me.Is that my fault? Was I sending out the wrong signals? Was it wrong of me to get work advice?

So many questions are bouncing around within my skull, and I can’t think clearly enough to answer any of them.

All I know is that I love Loïc. I want Loïc, and I don’t want anyone else. Not now, not ever. I don’t care if Brad does look like a hot actor and he has my dream job. I don’t want him.

Maybe it’s a blessing that Loïc isn’t online to see me like this. It would just upset him and make him worry.

Opening my email, I find a new one from him. At least I have that.

When I attempt to read it though, I get nauseous, and the room starts to spin. Too much champagne, too many emotions, and not enough Loïc make for a shitty night.

I drink a huge glass of water before plopping into bed. Maybe I’ll get to chat with Loïc in the morning. Until then, I’m going to dream about my beautiful warrior. He’s the only one for me.

I know, without a doubt, that he’s the only one I want.

Just Loïc.

Just Loïc.

Just Loïc.

To: Loïc Berkeley

From: London Wright

Subject: Question 27

Hello. I hope everything is going great and that you’re staying safe. Not much going on here. I’m just spending the day writing some articles, and Paige is working late.

To answer your latest question, my favorite cereal is Fruity Pebbles.

Question 27: What’s your favorite number? Mine’s sixteen. I’m not sure why. I’ve just always liked it.

I love you. Stay safe.

Love,

London

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