Page 92 of Slash & Burn

I watched as his taillights faded and then cut out as he rounded the bend. And then I let the tears fall. The program was done, my summer was over, and Grady was gone. And I didn’t want to fall apart. But I did anyway.

CHAPTER 35

JILL

“Jill,” Cleo called, curling around the doorframe of her office. “Can you pop in when you get a sec?”

I nodded. “Sure, let me just get this patron their book and I’ll be right there.”

The patron in question was Mrs. Bowlin. She came in every Wednesday to get a new romance novel, so she was pretty much my favorite. She only ever wantedmeto help her find her next book, and she’d gone through our stash so fast I’d been doing inter-library swaps for almost a year to keep her in smut.

Her perfectly quaffed gray bob and Birkenstocks sandals might have made her seem like an unlikely consumer for the type of dirty vampire-lore she was there to collect, but that was one of my favorite things about romance readers; we hid amongst the masses, lust lovers and hopeless romantics propping up society and saving it from its inevitable demise.

Or at least that’s how it felt when she took her latest stash and winked at me conspiratorially. “Thanks, hun,” she whispered, tossing it in her tote and heading for the door.

I was still laughing to myself when I went into Cleo’s office.

“Close the door,” she said, her eyes on her computer screen.

I did as she asked and took the seat in front of her desk, curiosity finally piquing at what she wanted to discuss. We’d been getting nothing but rave reviews for the summer program since it ended the week before and rumors were the library was going to be tapped to do another one next year. I doubted Grady was in consideration for that, but I’d mostly refused to let my mind go there; getting back to normal without him was my only goal at the moment.

“We got some bad news from the board of directors the other day,” she started, rotating in her chair to face me head on. “Some shifts in priorities, and they’ve yielded some unfortunate consequences.”

“Oh?” It was rare for Cleo to string together that many sentences when talking to me, so now I wasn’t just curious, I was terrified.

“Though our fundraising cruise went well, we’ve been asked to reallocate more budget to the new technology department. The computer lab and skills training for the community are going to take precedence.” She sighed, clasping her hands in front of her on her desk. “Which means we have to let you go.”

“What?” My ears started ringing, my pulse hammering so hard in my stomach I thought I might vomit. “But I did the reading program. It went so well.”

She nodded, her brow bending in what appeared to be sympathy. Cleo wasn’t much for feelings so it was hard to tell. “I know. It wasn’t the plan when we started the summer, and I’m very sorry to see you go.”

She was ‘very sorry,’ she said, but her expression was flat and her voice was like a robot’s.

“So, you’re firing me.”

“We’ve got a small severance package for you. It’s not much, but we wanted to acknowledge how hard you worked. Pulling off that program while still keeping up with our community here was nothing short of impressive. It’s just not the direction the board wants to take our offerings going forward.”

I’d put my anxiety about my job into such a tightly lidded box, waiting until we got closer to the budget vote to really let my worries run away with me, that it was as if Cleo had just kicked the whole box over and my worst nightmares were skittering across the floor. My whole life had just been upended in two minutes flat. A drive-by demolition, shards of my security and direction scattered around the room as the world tipped on its side.

“I’m sorry, Jill,” she said again. But not because she wanted me to really absorb her sympathy. It was the kind of apology you give when you want someone to know they’ve said all they’re going to say and it’s time to leave their office.

“Right,” I mumbled, completely clueless as to what an appropriate response would be in this kind of situation.I wasn’t supposed to thank her for firing me, was I?

“Your last day will be Friday, so you have time to give anything you’re working on to Lis. Okay?”

“Sure.” I stood up, my numb legs still working somehow. Librarian jobs weren’t exactly a dime a dozen. What was I going to do?

“If you need a letter of reference, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I’m happy to sing your praises.”

Nodding, I went for the door, suddenly desperate to get away from her. “Thank you.” I fumbled my way back to my desk, grabbing my purse. I told a very concerned looking Lis that I’d be back in a few minutes as I beelined it for the door. If I didn’t get some fresh air I was going to hyperventilate.

I’d been so proud of myself for holding it together the last week. Even if I was missing Grady every second of every day, I’d yet to tumble down the hill of despair I’d succumbed to after Adam. But now? It felt like the universe had kicked me while I was down, and I resented it. We’d worked so hard to make that program a success, and we’d done exactly that. Beating back all my fears, standing in front of all those crowds—all of it was supposed to ensure I kept my job—not be rendered meaningless when I got fired anyway.

For a computer lab.

I was fired for a computer lab.

“Jill!”

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