Page 48 of Slash & Burn

“So, what was so urgent?” She spun, facing me head on and I dropped my eyes to the ground, guilt washing over me.

“Are you all right?” The question sort of burst out of me, my hands fisting in my pockets. “The other night . . .” I caught her staring at me, scrutinizing my frown with a worried gaze. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Jill’s expression fell, her shoulders drooping as she shook her head. “You don’t have to worry about me, Grady. I’m fine.”

“Is that why your brother just had me pulled over? Had one of his guys warn me to stay away from you?”

Her head snapped up, her back going rod-straight. “He didwhat?”

The ire on her face made me proud. Jill was just as stubborn and tough as Joey, even though he would never admit it. Seeing the flare of anger in her eye made me think maybe she was doing okay after all.

“I just got a warning for going thirty-seven in a thirty-five so that I could get told to keep my hands to myself.”

Jill launched off the table, spinning back at the water with her hands in her hair. “Are you fucking kidding me? That fricking jackass.”

I huffed out a laugh, the sight of her, the mere proximity to her, easing something painfully tense inside me. “So, I take it you didn’t tell him anything about what’s been going on?”

When she turned back to me it was with an incredulous look. I held up my hands in surrender, knowing better than to really believe Jill would have divulged anything to her brother.

“No.”

“Well, something set him off.”

She rolled her eyes to the sky and blew out a harsh breath. “Yeah, you! You won’t call him back so he thinks it’s because you’re feeling guilty.” She shook her head again, laughing with a sour look in her eye. “As if you have anything to be guilty about.”

I took a step toward her, the bitterness in her voice like a knife cutting at the comfort being near her had brought me. “I do feel guilty. I never should have touched you that night at the pool. I never should have even thought about it. You were helping me, and I took it too fucking far.”

If I thought Jill had looked hurt the other night, I was wrong. Now she looked downright wounded.

“You say that like I wasn’t even there? Like I had no say in what happened, or that I didn’t want it.” She looked back at her car like she was ready to storm over to it and leave me standing there. “Jesus. You and him are both such fucking assholes. I’m not a child, Grady. I’m not even the stupid teenager who had a crush on you for fucking years. I kissed you back. I wanted you to touch me. Whatever guilt you have for that, you can get the hell over it. Joey doesn’t get to decide my life. And I get that you wish you’d never laid a hand on me, but I don’t. So, you’re going to have to make peace with that on your own.”

She went to walk past me, but I slid in front of her, blocking her path. “Stop. Wait.”

“Why did you want to talk to me so bad? Because you thought I’d ratted you out to my brother? Well, I didn’t. But I can tell him to leave you alone. Okay?”

“No, not okay,” I said, grabbing her arms and tugging her toward me. “None of this is okay. I’m not okay. I’m even fucking worse since last weekend when you walked away. I don’t care about your brother harassing me, I wanted to talk to you because I thought I’d hurt you. All week I thought you were upset and that’s why Joey came after me. I thought I’d fucked things up even more. You would never have been a regret, Jill. Jesus. Not even close.”

My heart was racing, the thing pounding so hard it made my vision pulse. Her words ran like a loop in my head;she’d kissed me back, she’d wanted me to touch her. She was practically vibrating in my hands, the same magnetic pull I always felt for her drawing me in.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I sighed, giving in to my biggest fear.

“Hurt me how?” she whispered, a deep line between her eyebrows as she searched my face.

“I go back to Boston in a matter of weeks. I can’t be another guy who leaves you behind.”

“Grady.” She stepped closer, her hands on my chest. “You can’t possibly be comparing yourself to Adam. Are you? You couldn’t be more different.And thisis nothing like that.”

This.

Us.

On the surface I knew that. But the way she said it, her head canting to the side as if I’d been silly to even entertain the idea made something in my chest snap. I realized at that moment I hadn’t been holding back because of Joey. Yeah, upsetting him would be rough, but this had been about more than him since the beginning. I’d feared hurting the one person who’d been there for me, who knew how fucked up I was and had never done anything but give me hope.

I shook my head. “I’m going to leave.”

The skin around her eyes crinkled as she gave me a knowing smirk. “I know.”

“So, then you agree. Nothing else should happen.”

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