Page 44 of Slash & Burn

He caught my eye in the fading light, a line across his brow. “You know you don’t have to be. I can’t imagine seeing him today was easy. And I didn’t exactly give you a chance to process on your own.” His gaze fell to his hands as he cracked his knuckles, like he still had the itch to lay Adam out.

I blew out a harsh breath. “You’re right. It sucked,” I admitted, feeling like he’d earned a little honesty.

His eyes flicked back up. “Is there anything I can do? I could still drive to his house and fuck him up. That offer is never off the table,” he said, giving me a sad smile. “But everything else is on the table too.”

A part of me wanted to crack a joke, to lighten the mood again so I could hide how much it meant to me that he cared. In that moment I didn’t feel like Joey’s little sister. It was like I was significant to Grady all on my own. And that felt really nice.

“There is one thing.”

Grady’s eyes went wide. “What?”

“This,” I whispered, stepping into the space between his legs, and wrapping my arms around his neck.

Without hesitation Grady closed me inside his arms. He took my weight as I buried myself in the crook of his shoulder and melted into him. His lips pressed against my skin as he stroked a hand through my hair and then down my back. He said nothing as he kept one arm cinched tight around my waist and rubbed me soothingly with the other.

It was everything. Everything I needed and wanted and missed.

I was ashamed to admit how badly I’d longed for this after Adam left. That feeling of being so close to someone that words were completely unnecessary. That a tight grip could settle my nerves and bring me back from the darkness. Adam had been the first person to do that, to just close around me, shutting out the world until I felt strong enough to face it again. I hated how much I still wanted that. Seeing him had made the ache worse.

But it was different in Grady’s arms. He wasn’t passive or removed. He wasn’t just the wall I needed for protection. He was warm and engaged. He nuzzled into me, closing his fingers over my hip and squeezing the back of my neck. He didn’t just hold me, he embraced me—and everything going on inside me.

I never wanted him to let me go.

And for a long time, he didn’t. I was the one to finally pull away, leaning back so I could see him. “Thank you.”

He gently pushed a hair from my face. “Anytime.”

We were hung there, the humidity as thick as the tension we were swimming in. Grady’s eyes flicked to my lips, his fingers flinching against my side. I’d never been so easily attracted to anyone. Maybe it was just a proximity thing, being four inches apart more than our bodies could handle. But the hunger in his eyes felt like more than that. It felt heavy and light, all at once. Bright with inspiration, but dark with need.

Breaking the silence, Grady’s voice scraped out, “God, you know how much I want this, don’t you?”

His desperate gaze had my body pulsing. I sucked in a shaky breath, sliding my hands up his chest just so I could feel the sturdiness of it again. His heart racing beneath my palm drew my eyes down, as if I’d be able to see the thing pumping madly under his skin.

“I think so.” It was still hard to imagine the guy I’d crushed on for most of my formative years actually wanted me back.

“You held my cock in your hands, Jill, you know so.”

I glanced up at him through my lashes. “You want me to hold it again?” Playing with fire like this wasn’t my style, but maybe I didn’t know what my style was. All I knew was that watching this powerful, gorgeous man pant with need did something to me.Something I liked.

“Christ,” he hissed, dropping his forehead to my shoulder as his hips ground into mine. “I’m not going to fucking make it.”

“Make what?”

He whipped back, eyeing me like I was crazy. “To the end of the summer. I can’t be around you for more than five seconds before all I can think about is devouring you while you scream my name.”

His words had heat rushing over my cheeks. “What about the first four seconds?” I asked, slanting my head to the side as he scowled at me. “You on a time delay or something?”

Gripping me harder he tugged me flush against him, and a startled yip burst out of me. “No, smart ass. For the first four seconds I force myself to behave because it’s the right thing to do. I’m just not strong enough to keep it up.” His eyes shadowed over, guilt in them I’d seen before.

Forcing my voice to remain steady, I lifted onto my toes, dusting my lips over his and said, “You’re stronger than you think.” And then I stepped back. Grady’s hands hung in midair as he watched me retreat with a pained expression. “You don’t want to be another thing that makes me anxious, and I won’t be something you regret.”

“Jill.”

The apology on his face flooded cold disappointment through me, but I refused to let him see it. After he’d made me feel so safe, so protected, I didn’t want to ruin everything by rehashing what he’d made perfectly clear was never going to happen.

“It’s okay,” I said, giving him a reassuring grin as I yanked my door open. “We had a really lovely day, Grady. Let’s not spoil it.”

He looked like he had an argument on his lips but he bit it back. I sighed, needing to get home without another emotional upheaval.

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