“You did it.” I gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, savoring the smile she gave me.
“I’m pretty sure you did that”—she waved her hand at the set—“for both of us.”
I shrugged. “Anytime.”
The way her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open was almost comical. “Please don’t say that. I never want to do this again.”
One of the marketing team gave me a wave and I held up my finger. “I can’t make any promises, but you’ll never have to do italone.That’s a guarantee.”
Jill went for her things, grumbling under her breath as I headed over to the suits. The minute I turned their direction my heart started to race again, and it was as if the anxiety I’d stuffed down to help Jill loosen up had been festering. It came back on me in a wave that took me by surprise. I swallowed through a tight throat as I approached them, willing myself to calm the hell down.
“That was a good start,” Sam said, his expression pulled into a grin that looked painfully tight. “We’ll start putting these to use right away.”
“Great,” I said, nodding along as I tried to take slow sips of air. My chest felt tight and I was starting to worry I might pass out. The three of them were looking at me expectantly, but I didn’t know what else to say.
Marjorie filled in the silence. “And we’ll have the details of the video spots in the next couple of weeks.”
“Video spots?” I asked, glancing quickly over my shoulder, relieved to see Jill on the other side of the room out of earshot.
“Yeah, the network wants to get some in-depth interviews with the various player-community partners for the feature that’ll air before the holidays.” Sam was nodding his head, his dark brown eyes almost black as he emanated a sickening sort of glee.
Jill could barely make it through a simple photo shoot, doing an actual on-camera interview would be a disaster. It would be perfect for me, giving me the exact exposure I needed. But if she was a monosyllabic statue they’d never air our segment.
“I was thinking,” I said, nearly out of breath from my racing heart. “The best way to capture the real story is with behind-the-scenes footage, you know? Tell the story in a way a stiff interview can’t. I could take some videos and show you what I mean, but I think it would set us apart from the other teams and really give the story some emotion.”
I was talking out of my ass and I had no idea how I’d get Jill to let me videotape her, but me taking some quick videos had to be better than whatever staged interview they had planned.
Most marketing execs don’t welcome ideas from people like me, but Marjorie and Arnold both lit up, their eyes meeting as they nodded excitedly.
“We love that,” Arnold said, rubbing his hands together. “We’d been trying to find a way to set our footage apart from the other teams, and that is a splendid idea.”
“You think you can pull that off?” Marjorie added, a twinge of apprehension on her face. “And get some shots of you too? We need both of you to be in the frame.”
“Of course. I’ll get some footage at this week’s event and send it over to give you a sense of what I’m thinking.” I wasn’t sure I even was thinking—all my blood was rushing through my ears as my heart hammered in my chest so hard it almost hurt. But they seemed pleased and with a few more handshakes and reassurances I could pull it off they finally headed for the door.
As soon as they were gone I bolted for the back hall where the men’s room was, but I didn’t make it there before I slumped against the wall. Stars had begun to float across my vision and my hands were shaking so hard I couldn’t stop them even when I closed them into tight fists. I was doing everything I could to slow my breathing, but all I got were puffs of air. I was starting to think I needed to sit on the floor when I heard the door open behind me.
“Grady?” Jill’s voice came over my shoulder. I could hear the concern in it and I wondered how much she’d been watching that exchange. I hoped she hadn’t heard anything about my ‘plan’, I needed to break that to her another day, when this whole horrid experience wasn’t so fresh.
“Yeah. I’ll be right out.” I sounded weak and I screwed my eyes closed, trying to force myself to calm down.
“Hey,” she whispered. She’d moved in front of me, and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
“Just give me a sec, okay?” I was leaning my whole weight into the wall, using it to keep me upright when it felt like my legs were about to give out.
“What’s going on? Talk to me.” Jill’s voice was soft, but I could hear the fear in her words.
“I’m okay. Just need a minute.” The longer I stood there, the more I hated that she was witnessing this.Again. Last time I’d already passed through the worst of it, but this time she was watching me come apart, and it made me sick. “Please go. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Grady.” She sighed my name, the sound of it so sweet and kind it made my heart hurt.
“Please don’t look at me.” Everything was pressing in on me, and I felt like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want her to be here for that.
“I’m not leaving you.”
The defiance in her tone told me nothing I said would change her mind. But I still couldn’t bear for her to see me this way, so I opened my eyes, taking in her worried expression for only a second before I covered her eyes with my hand. I held the back of her head with my other hand and let out a gust of air as I leaned back into the wall beside her.
“I hate that you had to see this.” Shame and frustration pounded through me as I ground my teeth.