Page 140 of Down & Dirty

I combed out the knotted strands now, blowing out a breath and trying to calm down. Elle hadn’t been able to tell me much. She hadn’t seen the crash, but had heard on the radio that Ronnie and Cory were en route to the hospital.

As the doors pinged open, I charged for the nurse’s station. A young, bright-faced nurse popped up from behind the counter with her arms full of files.

“Ronnie Stone and Cory Ellis,” I said in a rush, my eyes darting around the room as I tried to spot them.

“One sec,” she replied, leaning to slowly spill the files from her grasp onto the counter. “I think I know where Ronnie is, but let me check on the other one.”

She was tapping on the keyboard, when I heard a throat clear behind me.

“Sky.”

My shoulders dropped, pulled down by the weight of relief that settled like a blanket across them. His voice was warm, and soft, but I heard the tinge of pain, even in that one word. Spinning, I found Cory behind me, his shirt covered in blood, his hair jutting out in every direction. I could picture him ripping his helmet off, sweaty and dirty and pissed off at having lost his spot in the race.

“He’s over here,” he said, lowering his head as he turned down the hall behind him.

I thanked the nurse and followed. “Are you okay?” I asked, even though I could tell by the stiffness of his steps that he wasn’t.

“I’m fine.”

He slowed until we were beside each other, and even though he didn’t get any closer or reach out for me, I could feel the uneasy energy radiating off him. He was holding himself back, and I wasn’t sure if that made me feel worse or better.

There was a part of me that wanted Cory to crush me to his chest, to hold me while he whispered his apologies into my hair. I’d have tucked myself into that embrace and never wanted to leave.

But there was a gap between us.

He must have felt it too, because he flexed his hand at his side as we walked instead of reaching for mine. And with every step that gap got bigger.

“He took a hard hit, but the docs said he’ll be okay.”

He stopped outside a door, and through the narrow glass window I saw Ronnie reclined in the bed. His eyes were closed and he looked exhausted. One arm was wrapped in a brace and he was hooked up to monitors and IVs. He looked far from okay, but I knew how much worse things could be, so I let out the breath I was holding and nodded up to Cory as he watched me with round, hesitant eyes.

“And you?”

“I didn’t crash,” he said before closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Not really.”

“Oh? Good.” I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but regardless, the sight of him standing in front of me breathing and talking slowed the hard, frightened beat of my heart just a little bit more. “I should go see him,” I said, reaching for the door.

“Skylar, wait.”

My hand dropped to my side, and I closed my eyes, bracing for a conversation I wasn’t ready to have.

“I’m sorry. I fucked up. I fucked up so much more than just the contract thing.”

When he paused, I turned to look at him. His eyes were down, and there were deep lines of regret on his face.

“There’s so much I want to tell you, to explain...” He was struggling with his words, and for as smooth and confident as Cory had always been, it threw me to see him this unsure.

“I know we need to talk,” I admitted. “But I can’t right now. I’m not ready, Cory. And I just need you to give me some time.”

It had been one week. One week of hell. I’d hardly slept or eaten, and if I made Micah and I frozen dinners one more night I think the kid was going to report me to my parents on their next FaceTime call.

But the longer I took to let myself think, the more I saw how far off course I’d gotten. Not just with Cory, and this whole fake relationship. But with everything in my life. I needed space to sort out my own shit, before I could even have room to hear what he had to say.

My words hung between us as he held my gaze. “Can you let me know? When you’re ready?”

A new crack formed in my heart to see him trying so hard to be patient. “I will.” I nodded, doing my best to assure him and myself at the same time.

He took a deep breath, rocking back on his heels. But then his eyes snagged on my left hand. “You’re not wearing it.”

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