Page 124 of Down & Dirty

She barked out a laugh. “No, Cory. You shouldn’t have beenmore clear. What you should have done is walk away.”

For a split second I wasn’t sure if she meant walk away from racing or walk away from her, and panic surged through me. “Walk away from what?”

“From this!” she shouted, tears streaking down her face. “You know what you’re doing to yourself. Why can’t you just let it go?”

I shook my head. I had to finish this season out. At least this one. “Not yet.”

“When? When you fall and don’t get back up?”

She sounded like Mack at Thanksgiving. Both of them were so worried about whatcouldhappen, they weren’t seeing what was right here. They couldn’t see what I did; that I could do this. I put out my hand, trying to calm her down. “Today wasn’t that bad. I’m all right.”

She took a step back, as if my words had physically hit her. “Do you have any idea what it’s like knowing how seriously you’re hurt and watching you get on that starting gate? And then,” she looked away. Her fingers were trembling as she covered her mouth, like she was ill. “And then to watch you go down?” Her eyes locked on mine, the pain in them slicing across my chest. “I was sick, Cory. Waiting to see if you’d be able to get back up on your own. Do you know what that’s like?”

I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. My whole life I’d been the one in the dirt. I’d been the one to take the jump, or try the trick, or crash and burn. I’d never given a shit about anyone else, so of course I couldn’t know what it felt like to watch someone you care about go down in a race. But the pain of seeing Skylar hurting right now was enough to crush my lungs, so I could imagine how awful that must have been for her.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I said, walking slowly toward her. I had to touch her, I couldn’t hold back anymore. “I’m so sorry.”

She reached out, careful, quivering fingers taking hold of the bottom of my shirt and lifting it. Choppy breaths burst out of her when she saw the scrapes and redness, a yellow-purple bruise already forming under the swollen skin.

“You lied to me,” she repeated, her anger snapping back through her as she dropped my shirt and stepped back.

“I did,” I admitted, my hands fisting at my sides. I’d never fucked up so bad before. “And I know nothing I say now will ever make that okay.”

“I trusted you.”

“You can still trust me, Sky.” My voice broke, feeling her pull away.

“How can you say that to me? How can you stand there...I can see how much pain you’re in and you’re still lying to me and telling me you’re okay?”

“I’m telling you that I’m okay, because I am. I never should have played down how bad things were. Letting you find out like that was...” Shame and guilt swept through me, clearing out all the frustration. I’d done this. This was my fault.

“Are you going to stop?” She pulled her shoulders back, holding her breath as she stared me down.

With the points I’d gotten so far, I had a decent chance of finishing out the supercross season in the top ten—which would go a long way to helping me secure a few more endorsements. Deals that I needed. For us. I didn’t know what else I had to offer her and Micah beyond this. I needed this to give them everything they deserved.

A knock came at the door making her jump. It was hard and insistent and I would have bet money it was Ronnie.

“Not yet.” All I wanted was to take Sky in my arms. I wanted to make her see that I could handle this. I’d been doing this my whole life, I knew what I was doing.

When the knock came again, Sky wiped her eyes. “I’ve got to go.”

The sight of her moving for the door spooked me, and I shifted to block her path, my hands up in surrender. “Please,” I begged, my throat tight. “Don’t leave like this.”

She looked up at me, a sad glassiness to her eyes that tore me apart. I thought she wasn’t going to answer, and I was prepared to move aside, but then she reached for one of my hands, holding it to her chest over her racing heart. I cupped her cheek with the other and stepped closer. I’d messed everything up, but I needed her to give me some sign that we still had a chance.

She nuzzled into my hand. “Please be careful.”

“I will, baby,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss her, but she turned her head. My lips landed on her cheek as she sucked in a broken breath.

Before she stepped around me, she pressed a kiss to the back of my hand, her eyes fixed on mine like she was searching for something that used to be there.

“I’ll see you after the race,” she whispered, and then she left me in the bus, alone.

CHAPTER 40

SKYLAR

“What are you going to do?” Elle asked me, her face scrunched up with worry, sympathy in her eyes.

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