I freeze. Did he just ask me out? My mouth falls open. “Uh.”
“Speechless. I hope that’s a good thing.” Suddenly, Dylan looks unsure of himself, and I almost rush to agree to meet him to put him out of his misery. But then I remember the pity in his eyes the day before and I shutter my emotions.
“I can’t. Sorry.” I step to the side again, and this time, he doesn’t follow. “And I gotta go.”
“Yeah.” His tone is more a question than an acknowledgement. “See ya.”
As I storm away, my mind whirls with confusion. Excitement swirls with anger and embarrassment. I don’t know what to think or feel. Even if he does feel sorry for me, Dylan just asked me out. The bad boy of Oak Grove High asked the clumsy girl out for coffee. Even a pity ask is still an ask, right?
All the same, my heart aches. I’d seen in his eyes that he was upset by my refusal, but I’d been more upset by his pity. The memory of the water fight, my soaking wet body pressed against his as he towered over me, his hair dripping onto my face. The heat from his body was nothing compared to the intensity of his gaze. I replace that expression with the pity he showed and then by the hurt he'd just displayed, and I feel a band tighten around my heart. What a shame I will never again experience the dark, searing gaze I received during the water fight. Now that he knew my secret, he’d never see me the same way again.
Sam cautioned me not to let my heart become involved in the crush, but it seems her advice came too late. My heart was already involved. Unbeknownst to me, it dove straight in, headfirst, with no regard to my mental well-being. And it left me with the problem of figuring out if I can swim or if I’m going to drown.