Page 63 of Bad Boys Don’t Date Clumsy Girls

I suck in a breath, trying to keep fresh tears at bay. I’ve never felt pain so acutely as I do right now for my brother. I clench my fists and force myself to respond. “The raised voices and slamming doors make me want to hide in a corner with my hands over my ears. I want to hide until it goes away. Like I used to when we were young enough to crawl into your closet. When you would shield me from it as much as you can. I’m a coward.”

Joel shakes his head. He doesn’t respond for a long time, and I suspect he’s reliving some of those earlier times like I am. Finally, he sniffs. “You’re not a coward, Ava. You’re compassionate and caring.”

I sigh and deny his claim with an infinitesimal shake of my head. “It was good to hear Mom say that she recognizes that we’ve overcome our circumstances.”

Joel sits up. His sudden enthusiasm is shocking. But in a good way. “I know, right? That totally took me by surprise. I had no idea she paid enough attention to our lives to even have a clue.”

“It’s still all going to be hard, with Mom recovering and trying to get and keep herself sober too, with Grandma picking a fight every chance she gets, with us having to keep up with school and you with work as well,” I say. “But for the first time…ever, I feel hopeful.”

Joel takes my hand. “We’re in this together.” His expression tells me he isn’t feeling hopeful at all.

“Together.” I squeeze before we let go.

He slides down in his chair, folds his hands together over his stomach, and leans his head against the wall, closing his eyes. I turn my attention to the television again, and with a clearer mind, I’m actually able to listen to what is being said. We wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Later, my phone buzzes with a text notification. I look at the time and see that first period just ended. The text is from Bek and is in all capital letters.

Bek: DYLAN SCOTT JUST ASKED FOR YOUR PHONE NUMBER!!!!

I sit forward in my chair.

Me: WHAT?! Did you give it to him?

Bek: Yes. I hope you don’t mind. He’s SOOOOOO worried about you.

Me: OMG. He is?!

Bek: He was super hesitant to talk to me. But he said the two of you had talked about your mom yesterday and he wanted to check on you. I told him she was having her surgery today and that you’d probably appreciate him reaching out.

Me: OMG. You did?!

Bek: You sound like a caveman. Lol.

Me: I’m in shock. That’s so sweet of him.

Me: DON’T SAY IT.

Cross-posted with:

Bek: I told you he’s sweet.

Me: mad face emoji

Bek: laughing/crying emoji

Me: Thanks for giving him my number and for giving me a heads up, I would have FREAKED out if he’d texted out of the blue.

Bek: Any update?

Me: No. Another couple of hours at least.

Bek: Heart emoji

The day crawls by as I watch first, a game show that requires no skill, second, a talk show with combative guests, and third, a soap opera with as much drama as we have in our own household. I can’t believe people consider this entertainment. To me, it feels like a documentary.

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